2020 Fark Greenlights

(YouTube)
2020-12-30
  [STEM] People worry about lead ammunition being toxic and leaching into water tables and such, but worry no more: If we stuff bullets full of sodium or potassium they're not toxic, plus they explode when they hit wet things. Like the inside of your body
(12)
(Some Guy)
2020-12-18
  [Food] If you're a horror movie fan you'll love this recipe: By the time you get everything in the oven, your kitchen will look like Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment. It'll be worth it
(12)
(The Lancet)
2020-12-16
  [STEM] Describe a scene for me: A boy is standing on a toppling stool to reach up and steal cookies. His sister is trying to steady the stool. Meanwhile, their mother is washing dishes and the sink is overflowing. Got all that? Good. You have Alzheimer's
(30)
(YouTube)
2020-12-14
  [STEM] You know how sometimes you're shooting padlocks with various full-auto firearms to test the locks, and you discover a tiny lizard is sitting on the railroad ties you use for a berm, so you shoo it away before it gets hurt? I love it when that happens
(11)
(YouTube)
2020-12-10
  [STEM] You've always wanted to see what would happen if you shot a nacho cheese-filled toilet with a double-barreled 500 Nitro Express Elephant gun, haven't you? Sure you have. It's okay; I won't tell anyone
(23)
(YouTube)
2020-12-09
  [Main] It is time for a most cherished, beloved personal holiday tradition: A full and complete transcript of Ralphie's old man swearing at the furnace in "A Christmas Story"
(53)
(YouTube)
2020-12-06
  [STEM] You won't survive 0.000,000,002g of this poison. You probably have some lying around the house, by the way. Sweet dreams
(49)
(Some Guy)
2020-11-24
  [Food] Sometimes you want green bean casserole with fresh ingredients, but sometimes you want it the way your Grammaw used to make it: Way too much salt, mushy canned beans, greasy French-fried onions and all. I don't judge
(42)
(YouTube)
2020-11-19
  [Main] Stay the f**k at home. And while you're there, go the f**k to sleep. In related news, Fark needs a Samuel L. Jackson tab
(27)
(YouTube)
2020-11-17
  [D’awww] For an early Woofday, let's take a look at how a pet shelter worker spent hours showing an abused, terrified and aggressive dog that people can reach out to show kindness and love, not just to hit. I'm not crying; YOU'RE crying
(5)
(YouTube)
2020-11-12
  [Entertainment] The Girl From Ipanema is a far weirder song than you thought
(41)
(YouTube)
2020-11-10
  [D’awww] Dogs. Dogs doing air quotes, counting money, fighting a T-rex, and square dance calling. Dogs playing videogames, counting money, and stealing a swimming pool. Dogs grinnin', fightin' crabs, sleep drinkin', tongue bleppin', and dreamin'. DOGS
(7)
(YouTube)
2020-10-19
  [Entertainment] Hey, remember that time when Eddie Van Halen hogged the bathroom on "Two and a Half Men"? "That's called two burritos and a root beer float"
(24)
(Some Guy)
2020-10-15
  [Fandom] "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," by Kurt Vonnegut: a sprawling, epic saga of 4 (or 5, sort of) influential authors, all of whom have, alas, joined the choir invisible, but who also, may our flagons of ale in Valhalla ever be full, cannot sue me
(32)
(Some Guy)
2020-10-13
  [Entertainment] "A Brief History of Yelling in Hip-Hop." But I wanted an EXHAUSTIVE history of yelling in hip hop
(12)
(YouTube)
2020-09-28
  [Entertainment] You've always wanted to hear "Gangster's Paradise" as an Oktoberfest song, complete with accordions and tubas? Sure you have. No, don't pretend you haven't–it's okay; I won't tell anybody
(44)
(YouTube)
2020-09-25
  [Fandom] Could a solid steel bowling ball survive a nuclear blast? We know the answer, but it's not from calculating the various factors. We know because Some Guy got permission to place a bunch of solid metal bowling balls close to a nuke
(25)
(YouTube)
2020-09-23
  [Fandom] Know what happens when you fire a 12-gauge shotgun round outside the barrel right next to a water balloon? You will if you watch this video. Difficulty: If you think you already know what will happen you're probably wrong
(40)
(Some Guy)
2020-09-09
  [Business] Check out this stylish new briefcase. Includes helpful photos of the briefcase's features, which indicate it's great for transporting sod
(19)
(MSN)
2020-09-04
  [Main] Alert school officials stop another school shooting before it started. Just think how many lives they saved by suspending a student in an online class because a Nerf gun was visible in the room behind him
(95)
(BBC-US)
2020-09-04
  [Main] The town of Hamelin in Lower Saxony, Germany, employs a professional Pied Piper to promote tourism. Some people don't know the fable and think he's a court jester, a superhero, a gender-fluid woke SJW, Robin Hood, or… wait a sec; back up one
(35)
(YouTube)
2020-09-03
  [Entertainment] "We just figured if we had sex with enough people they'd put us on the cover, man." Bonus: Best guitar solo EVER
(19)
(Some Guy)
2020-09-02
  [Entertainment] John Denver was an alien and he accidentally killed himself and all I got out of it was this boring childhood
(14)
(Carscoops)
2020-08-22
  [Fandom] The Ford GT is a perfect car, so how can you make it better? Simple: With this $100,000 Mystichrome paint job. But unless you buy this specific car, you can't have the Mystichome paint job
(63)
(YouTube)
2020-08-21
  [Entertainment] John Denver and Cass Elliott sing "Leaving on a Jet Plane," and if you don't shed at least one tear, you're not human and you should feel very very bad about yourself
(62)
(TC Palm)
2020-08-18
  [Main] Subject is pantsless; repeat pantsless. Well, maybe. She may or may not be topless. Be advised nearest nudist colony is 23 miles away
(27)
(Slate)
2020-08-07
  [Main] After spending 3 years and $2 billion, extensive studies, analyses, and debate, the US sleepwalked into using the atomic bomb in Japan, which led to the US and Israel launching a cyberattack against Iran's nuclear program. Or something like that
(152)
(Some Guy)
2020-08-03
  [Entertainment] Betcha didn't know Tom Jones once had a variety show. Betcha also didn't know he and Janis Joplin tried to burst each others' vocal cords on said show
(60)
(Daily Mail)
2020-07-28
  [Entertainment] According to this DailyFail headline, "Britney Spears Demands Attention" just because she's posing with a ton of henna body art and green bikin–what? She actually said "I demand attention"? Never mind
(37)
(YouTube)
2020-07-28
  [Entertainment] If Boston's song "More Than a Feeling" makes you think "Gee, wouldn't it be swell if a blonde with a purple guitar would shred this song all over the place," your wish has been granted, and may God have mercy on your soul
(76)
(Some Guy)
2020-07-21
  [Entertainment] Despite being a British show, Monty Python chose Sousa's "Liberty Bell March" as their theme song because they wouldn't have to pay any "royalty feels," wink-wink nudge-nudge saynamore
(32)
(Imgur)
2020-07-18
  [Main] Update this official COVID risk chart with more interesting activities. LGT helpful blank
(5)
(Daily Wire)
2020-07-13
  [Politics] Minneapolis: "Hey, we need $500 million to pay for all this riot damage." Trump: "You pay for it–you should have plenty of cash from defunding your police"
(104)
(Guardian)
2020-07-03
  [Main] City official showers during a teleconference. Shower drowns out his phone. Because colleagues are trying to tell him the video's on, and everyone in the conference can see everything. So can journalists and civilians live-streaming the conference
(51)
(Yahoo)
2020-07-02
  [Main] Mount Rushmore is on land stolen from Native Americans, according to The New York Times, which is also built on land stolen from Native Americans
(200)
(The Detroit_News)
2020-06-29
  [Politics] "America faces existential issues that merit free-wheeling discussion, vigorous debate and an open examination of diverse views." That, of course, is never gonna happen
(87)
(YouTube)
2020-05-20
  [Entertainment] You know that song "Life's Been Good"? Yeah; well, Joe Walsh is really tired of hearing questions about it. So here's his absolute, final, don't-miss-it, never-before, together-again explanation. Pay attention; this will NOT be repeated
(32)
(Warner Brothers)
2020-05-13
  [Geek] 1. Go to Google. 2. Search for "Wizard of Oz." 3. Click on the red slippers. 4. Then click on the tornado. Not quite as cool as watching it while listening to Dark Side of the Moon, but it's still pretty damn cool
(14)
(The Indian Express)
2020-04-27
  [D’awww] Hello, this is dog. Weather today: scattered tummy rubs and 50% chance of treats-ooh, here nice lap **crash**
(11)
(Some Guy)
2020-04-24
  [Geek] Shooting the Lahti L-39 20mm anti-tank rifle is lots of fun, especially when you don't have a tank so you shoot at an iMac instead
(31)
(YouTube)
2020-04-22
  [Main] Apropos of nothing, here are all 14 window cameos from the original 60's Batman TV series
(31)
(YouTube)
2020-04-09
  [Entertainment] I too was an 11th-century hurdy-gurdy player, until I took an arrow to the knee and missed my chance to perform with Led Zeppelin
(16)
(YouTube)
2020-04-08
  [Geek] Uncle Rob demonstrates how any problem can be solved with a flare and 10 gallons of gasoline. Bless his heart
(12)
(Fark)
2020-03-30
  [Main] Coronavirus just trademarked its name and needs good ideas for marketing: Official logo, slogan, catchphrase, product placements, spokesperson, other official merch: Toys, videogames, bumper stickers, sponsorships, the works. Let's get busy
(49)
(Some Guy)
2020-03-20
  [Entertainment] Neil Sedaka is 550 years old. Huh. Who knew?
(12)
(The Verge)
2020-03-06
  [Main] Today's headline: "Twitter bans Tweets making fun of people over their weight, age, or a disease." Tomorrow's headline: "Twitter file for bankruptcy"
(60)
(Some Guy)
2020-03-03
  [Geek] Wanna buy a brand new 9mm handgun for $109? You can, but there are some tradeoffs–mainly that you run the considerable risk of mistaking it for a hot glue gun
(41)
(YouTube)
2020-03-02
  [D’awww] Be careful: This video can cause tooth decay, it's so sweet. WHAZZUUUUUUUUUUUP?
(2)
(YouTube)
2020-02-27
  [Geek] Not news: How I survived being bitten by a Black Mamba. News: After I deliberately provoked it to bite me. Fark: Multiple times
(23)
(AZ Family)
2020-02-19
  [Geek] If you've lost a couple of sonic booms in northern Arizona in the last week, Luke Air Force Base officials would like to have a word with you
(26)
(Some Guy)
2020-02-15
  [Food] You've always wanted to celebrate National Mustard Day with some mustard ice cream, haven't you? Sure you have
(19)
(USA Today)
2020-02-13
  [Politics] If we abolish the Electoral College, we'll go back to feudalism, with everyone in rural areas and red states being serfs. Blue states shrug, holler "BRING OUT YER DEAD"
(238)
(CNN)
2020-02-03
  [Politics] We're all worried about coronavirus, but no worries needed: With its never-failing intelligence and perspicacity, CNN answers the question on millions of Americans' lips: Why isn't Trump's Coronavirus Task Force more diverse?
(107)
(YouTube)
2020-01-30
  [Geek] Living in a 10-square-foot tiny house can be a challenge. Especially if 99 other people live there too
(11)
(TrendChaser)
2020-01-29
  [Main] Allegedly there's a bear hidden in the Toblerone logo. Photoshop other things no one noticed
(24)
(YouTube)
2020-01-23
  [Geek] A hapax legomenon is a word that appears only once in all literature for a given language. In English, e.g., the word "quizzaciously" appears only once. Well, twice now. I guess I sort of ruined "quizzaciously," so–dammitsomuch
(23)
(Facebook)
2020-01-22
  [D’awww] Bob Ross appears on a waffle. Well, it's actually a pancake. But it's a happy little pancake
(8)
(Popular Science)
2020-01-16
  [Geek] Today's horrifying madlib headline: "Chainsaws were invented to help with childbirth"
(3)
(Sad and Useless)
2020-01-06
  [Geek] The actual length of owls' legs will never stop being funny
(29)
(YouTube)
2020-01-01
  [Geek] It's 2020. Where's my sealab?
(31)