2016 Fark Greenlights

(Townhall)
2016-12-29
  [Politics] One of the terrible racist things the Electoral College is responsible for: Abolishing slavery (111) (+13)
(Amazon)
2016-12-29
  [Main] Reviews for Veet Men's Hair Removal gel: "Most prisoners confessed within five minutes. Can recommend. Secret Police, Damascus." "I lost track of time, and the foul stench of dissolving clinkers and melting hair brought me to my senses" (34) (+1)
(Newser)
2016-12-27
  [Main] Critics slam the Navy's new $475 million Gabrielle Giffords warship, saying it's too expensive and the heads all have holes in them (157)
(Newser)
2016-12-26
  [Politics] "Rand Paul Airs His Grievances." I hope this makes for a more festive US (21)
(Newser)
2016-12-26
  [Politics] "Rand Paul Airs His Grievances." I hope this makes for a more festive US (20)
(LifeZette)
2016-12-25
  [Politics] How to be gracious, kind and patient at Christmas with relatives whose politics are different from yours. Know how I can tell this wasn't written by a liberal? (418)
(Newser)
2016-12-25
  [Main] "As Typhoon Hits, Philippines Dangle Roast Pig to Evacuees." Wait, what? (39)
(Marketwatch)
2016-12-19
  [Politics] In addition to winning the popular vote, Hillary also wins the highest number of faithless electors in the last hundred years. To clarify, that means the highest number of faithless electors to vote AGAINST her (315)
(CNN)
2016-12-19
  [Entertainment] Meet Terry Kath, the unknown rock guitarist who was better than Hendrix. Uh, no; but he was still pretty damn good (110)
(The Atlantic)
2016-12-16
  [Geek] NASA considers a comet interceptor space craft. Tag is for whoever created the article's Url (30)
(The Federalist)
2016-12-13
  [Politics] "Unless the Russians transformed Hillary Clinton into an unlikable, ideologically malleable, corrupt, inveterate fabricator over the past 30 years, the claims that the Russians stole an election should be received with a giant dose of skepticism" (380)
(NYPost)
2016-12-11
  [Politics] In addition to winning the popular vote, Hillary also spent $600 million more campaigning than Trump did. SHE DESERVED TO WIN, MAN (379)
(YouTube)
2016-12-11
  [Entertainment] Supercut of every Stan Lee cameo. Come for the terrified juror in "The Incredible Hulk" clear back in the '70s; stay for the stripper club DJ in "Deadpool" (29)
(Buzzfeed)
2016-12-11
  [Entertainment] Why Yukon Cornelius is the most badass character ever (47)
(YouTube)
2016-12-09
  [Video] Conan O'Brien visits a German dominatrix, gets nipples removed (Not safe for work) (16)
(IFL Science)
2016-12-07
  In its latest bid to win friends and influence people, PETA claims eating chicken will "make your kid's dick small" (7)
(Dangerous Minds)
2016-12-06
  [Geek] "Dead at 17: The Fatal Consequences of Masturbation." Includes helpful watercolor illustrations of what appears to be Peewee Herman wasting away (SFW) (45)
(Some Guy)
2016-12-05
  [Politics] Reporter is so horrified at the rush to "normalize" Trump he Godwins himself in the first sentence (108)
(The Daily Caller)
2016-12-03
  [Politics] Democratic Rep. Steve Cohen files for constitutional amendment to get rid of the Electoral College. I just wanted to let you know: We're all counting on you. Good luck (295)
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
2016-12-02
  [Main] Dear prospective landlords: You're not supposed to enter a tenant's apartment without permission. You're especially not supposed to have sex on their beds while they're at work. And cleaning up the mess with the tenant's wedding dress is right out (43)
(Hot Air)
2016-12-02
  [Politics] Having gotten a harsh reality check by the election, Democrats are learning to be more sensible about things: A mere 42% of them think Hillary will still end up in the White House after the recount in Wisconsin (94)
(Some Guy)
2016-11-29
  [Politics] Stay with me here: 1. Colorado went for Clinton in the election. 2. Four of its nine electors want to submit their electoral votes Condoleeza Rice. 3. Because they don't like Trump OR Hillary. Got all that? (83)
(The New Yorker)
2016-11-29
  [Politics] A skilled hacker would leave no evidence that they'd tampered with the election. Therefore, the total lack of any evidence that the election was tampered with is proof it was tampered with (48)
(Washington Examiner)
2016-11-28
  [Politics] Jill Stein has everything she needs to pursue a recount in Pennsylvania, except a calendar: She missed the deadline (77)
(Newser)
2016-11-27
  [Entertainment] Swedish officials remind festival attendees that even though their giant straw Christmas goat is very, very flammable, they'd really be grateful if no one would set it on fire this year the way they almost always do anyway (18)
(Fark)
2016-11-30
  [Main] Photoshop this slippery slope (20)
(BBC-US)
2016-11-22
  [Main] South African pastor under investigation for his admittedly unorthodox practice of spraying his congregants in the face with insecticide (32)
(Some Absentee Guy)
2016-11-13
  [Politics] Looks as if Trump won the popular vote after all. Certainly all the protesters will go home now, right? (8)
(Fox News)
2016-11-13
  [Politics] The New York Times apologizes for biased coverage during the election, saying they "can't provide journalism without the support of subscribers." Translation: We promise to start doing our jobs if you start buying the paper again (75) (+52)
(YouTube)
2016-11-11
  [Entertainment] After this contentious election, Stephen Colbert reminds us of the things that are more important than politics: That the first person to get up for seconds at a wedding buffet is a GODDAMN hero, and that Kit-Kat bars must be eaten in segments (44)
(WGNO)
2016-11-10
  [Main] Yourenothelping.jpg (80)
(CNN)
2016-11-10
  [Politics] Dear Democrats: Maybe screaming and crying and burning Trump in effigy and pretending he's going to reinstitute Jim Crow law, outlaw gay marriage and put a swastika on the flag isn't the best way to handle losing an election. Just sayin' (247)
(MEL Magazine)
2016-11-07
  [Main] "Man Missing for a Decade Might Never Have Left This Bar." I say we canonize the dude (52)
(The Blaze)
2016-11-07
  [Video] Vegan walks into restaurant, goes into tearful rant about her pet chicken and the murdered animals everyone is eating. In related news, submitter made Violence Chili last night filled with JUICY CHUNKS OF MURDERED COW (39)
(Metro)
2016-11-06
  [Main] "People are freaking out over this girl's photo of her manicure." Sigh…more clickbait. **click** JESUS CHRIST–IT'S A MANICURE. GET BACK IN THE CAR (79)
(YouTube)
2016-11-04
  [Video] Sit. Roll over. Shake hands. Now cross your eyes. GOOD GIRL (5)
(LifeZette)
2016-11-04
  [Politics] "If one supports Trump, it is tantamount to carpet-bombing every dog rescue kennel in America. If one speaks favorably of Trump, one is a racist-sexist-homophobic- transphobic-seal-clubbing hater" (115)
(Newser)
2016-11-03
  [Main] Mother of newborn receives a $7,341 hospital bill for "delivery room services." In related news, the backseat of your car is a delivery room (58)
(The Political Insider)
2016-11-02
  [Politics] Fake news website reports that Michelle Obama deleted Hillary Clinton from both her Twitter feeds. Hillarity ensues (LGT site that fell for it) (38)
(Huffington Post)
2016-11-02
  [Politics] "Democrats Shouldn't Panic Over One Poll Showing Donald Trump Is Ahead." Why not? The rest of us are (322)
(Newser)
2016-11-02
  [Main] "Major Retailer Gets Rid of Plus-Sized Department." Oh, FFS–when are they going to–what? They're putting the plus sizes on the racks with all the other clothes? That's different (289)
(The New York Observer)
2016-10-31
  [Politics] Tape emerges of Hillary Clinton saying she thought democratic elections in Palestine were a bad idea "unless we did something to determine who was going to win." Awkward (101)
(LifeZette)
2016-10-31
  [Geek] Just how old is Wolverine, anyway? (34)
(News.com.au)
2016-10-30
  [Politics] Clinton's lead over Trump dwindles down to 2 percent. So he's got that going for him. Which is nice (75)
(Daily Kos)
2016-10-28
  [Politics] Dear Michael Moore: When you write an open letter to Trump's daughter and even the Daily Kos says you have a credibility problem, you definitely have a credibility problem (22)
(Mirror.co.uk)
2016-10-26
  [Video] Many of us have gone to work after drinking. Not many of us are forensic scientists who collapse and pass out on top of a corpse at a crime scene (11)
(Occupy Democrats)
2016-10-20
  [Politics] Dan Rather's debate analysis should be read by every American, faxed anonymously to CBS disguised as an old interoffice memo (24)
(Guardian)
2016-10-15
  [Politics] Hey liberals: If you would stereotype a group of people by presuming to guess their politics or deeming them inferior to yourself, you may have a lot more in common with Donald Trump than you'd care to admit (233)
(Some Guy)
2016-09-29
  [Sports] Terry Crews keeps a photo of Terry Crews in his wallet to save money. In related news, photos of Terry Crews are legal tender (41)
(LifeZette)
2016-09-27
  [Entertainment] Calling the power of Fark: Here's a list of stupid movie remakes coming up, such as Conan the Septuagenarian, Bill & Ted's Midlife Crisis and Michael Bay's The Birds: Now they Explode. We can come up with better ideas (132)
(Huffington Post)
2016-09-20
  [Politics] It's time for one of the Democratic Party's most hallowed traditions: They're busy figuring out whose fault it is Hillary's about to lose an election she should win in her sleep (248) (+1)
(Click On Detroit)
2016-09-13
  [Main] "HI; I want to order a white casket with pictures of angels and the Last Supper and silk lining for my mother." "Here's your dented white casket with no pictures and crepe paper lining." "I want my money back." "Tough. We're blocking your number" (120)
(ZDNet)
2016-09-09
  [Geek] How to make a USB thumb drive that destroys any hardware you plug it into. You have to make your own, mind you; apparently the DNC bought all the ones on the shelves (35)
(Washington Free Beacon)
2016-09-01
  [Main] 1. Get a piece of wood. 2. Tape a lead pipe to it. 3. Take it to a gun buyback program and tell them it's a shotgun. 4. Profit. (No, really–profit) (326)
(Guns.com)
2016-08-26
  [Main] Arkansas cop wants $75,000 from Glock for not warning him that his pistol was capable of shooting him in the foot, especially if he tried to mount a tactical light on it while it was loaded (131)
(Medical Xpress)
2016-08-22
  [Geek] New study shows effects of LSD on language and speech and the smell of colors and why there's a rainbow world of love and peace in the eye of every every baby ever born, man (23)
(Huffington Post)
2016-08-22
  [Main] Having your mugshot posted after you get arrested for a DUI can be embarrassing. But not as embarrassing as having your mugshot published after you get arrested for a DUI wearing ribbons in your beard, pink mesh hose, a skirt and locked chastity belt (45)
(Newser)
2016-08-21
  [Main] Burglars break into iconic Brady home; police say current resident scared them off. Probably with a machete, if he hadn't had a Snickers lately (45)
(Nola.com)
2016-08-11
  [Main] This. THIS is how you obituary (52)
(Some Guy)
2016-08-10
  [Politics] Hey, remember the enormous panicgasm of outrage when John Kerry threatened to kill President Bush? (183)
(Huffington Post)
2016-08-08
  [Sports] If the athletes' village in Rio wasn't bad enough, they've gone and forbidden toilet fishing too. Also, no vomiting or peeing on one leg like a dog (26)
(Mic)
2016-08-07
  [Main] BDSM coffee shop opens in Portland. Not sure how you drink coffee through a ballgag, though (141)
(Wave3 Louisville)
2016-08-06
  [Main] "Cement family shocked to find 14-foot python." Concrete evidence still awaited up and down the block, family promises mortar come (58)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
2016-08-05
  [Entertainment] In honor of Maureen McCormick's birthday, everyone say "Marcia Marcia Marcia" 20 times fast (53)
(Grand Junction Daily Sentinel)
2016-08-05
  [Main] Let's do this by the numbers: Temp outside: 96. Number of dogs left in car: 1. Members of family who left him there: 3. Number of women who confronted them: 3. Racist tirade: 1. Whiny videos posted about it: 1. Only innocent party involved: The dog (129)
(The Verge)
2016-07-29
  [Geek] Ford invents the Multiple Container Holder Assembly, US patent number 8,939,491. It's a revolution in cupholder technology. A revolution, I tell you. We're talking Great Disturbance in the Force here (46)
(Newser)
2016-07-16
  [Business] Banker gets hired to turn bank around, accuses the previous manager of fraud, withdraws suit, hires a Santeria priest to sacrifice an alligator in the conference room, get shot in his car, and–wait, back up one (17)
(Daily Mail)
2016-07-16
  [Main] "Sorry, no backpacks in the movie theater." "It's not a backpack; it's medical supplies." "No backpacks." "For my 3-year daughter." "No." "She just got out of the hospital." "No." "From a bone marrow transplant." "No. Next please" (154)
(Collider)
2016-07-13
  [Entertainment] First photos released of Pennywise the Clown, played by Bill Skarsgard, for upcoming remake of "It." You can click if you want; I'd rather sleep tonight (96)
(Sad and Useless)
2016-07-11
  [Main] Photographer visits the world's most famous landmarks, faces the wrong direction (67)
(KRQE News)
2016-07-10
  [Main] It's one thing to convince your insurance company you need new shingles due to storm damage. It's quite another to convince them you need new shingles because someone stole your roof (34)
(Huffington Post)
2016-07-07
  [Main] Did you think maybe the alligators couldn't get you if you climbed a tree? Guess again (40)
(Huffington Post)
2016-07-02
  [Politics] "Either Bill Clinton is an idiot, or he wants Hillary to lose." [whynotboth.jpg] (223)
(The Federalist)
2016-07-01
  [Main] While Democrats were busy accusing the GOP of selling assault rifles to ISIS, this guy stopped another nightclub mass shooting by — surprise — shooting the gunman. You know, the way we all know is impossible (223)
(Newser)
2016-06-28
  [Geek] Giant helium deposit discovered in Tanzania. It holds 54 billion cubic feet of helium: Enough to supply 1.2 million MRI scanners, or to make everyone in Congress talk in a high-pitched voice for almost two days (34)
(LifeZette)
2016-06-28
  [Geek] The slimy history of the Ghostbuster theme. Who ya gonna sue? P.S. The new Fall Out Boy/Missy Elliott remix is really, really awful (46)
(Huffington Post)
2016-06-27
  [Main] Meet Demtye, winner of Lithuania's goat beauty pageant. Yeesh. These weirdo rubes and their goats. **click** That IS an awfully cute goat (30)
(Gizmodo)
2016-06-16
  [Main] To help people feel safe on China's new 1,000-foot-high glass bridge, engineers let a reporter hit it with a sledgehammer. Don't worry: He was wearing his brown pants (56)
(Gizmodo)
2016-06-16
  [Geek] Scientists discover "quasi-satellite" that's orbiting both the Earth and the Sun. No one knows where it came from or how it got there, but it's going to stick around for centuries. Kind of like Gilbert Gottfried (36)
(Some Guy)
2016-06-14
  [Entertainment] Dear Idris Elba: Thanks to you, I fear that, in several days, I'll find wide portions of my subconscious crying havoc and letting slip the dogs of seal schtupping wet dreams. Like, really wet (26)
(MSN)
2016-06-01
  [Main] McDonalds is being sued for failing to accommodate blind customers at the drive thru. The suit charges that with all of the nifty technology out there, a company that serves breakfast all day should be able to figure out something (167)
(Newser)
2016-05-30
  [Geek] Scientists study rare disease that makes you believe you're dead, decide to name it "Nebraska" (58)
(Some Guy)
2016-05-26
  [Geek] Do you love the smell of books? Congratulations: You're not as weird as you thought (21)
(Truthout)
2016-05-26
  [Geek] Climate change scientists speak out on Al Gore's failed prediction that the ice caps would be gone by now: "What Gore did or didn't say is beside the point" (71)
(Some Guy)
2016-05-22
  [Geek] If Deepak Chopra isn't handy, enjoy this online New Age BS generator (9) (+7)
(Washington Post)
2016-05-20
  [Main] In the U.S., we sue homophobic bakers. In Pakistan, the disgruntled brother of a bakery owner puts pesticide in pastries and kills 31 people (77)
(Gizmodo)
2016-05-19
  [Geek] "Sometimes toes spontaneously fall off and nobody knows why." You asshole. Oh, sorry–I'm lack toes intolerant (29)
(Fark)
2016-05-18
  [FarkUs] You know how sometimes you pull some jeans out of the dryer and put them on and the back of the button goes SSSS against your bellybutton? I hate it when that happens (20)
(YouTube)
2016-05-17
  [Video] Beats by Bulldog. Let's see your kitties do THIS, Caturdayers (15)
(Bored Panda)
2016-05-17
  [Main] "Ever wanted to lick your cat?" "No." "Meet LickiBrush, the-" "No." "-new way to bond with-" "I said no." "-your furry friend without risk of-" "Stop." "-hairballs and-" "I DON'T WANT TO LICK MY CAT" (58)
(Reason Magazine)
2016-05-17
  [Politics] Flying Dog brewery wins 1st Amendment battle against Michigan Liquor Commission, who didn't like the name Raging Biatch. Let's all hoist an Arrogant Bastard in their honor (34)
(Vice)
2016-05-16
  [Main] "A new study suggests our nation's children would be better off learning about consensual sex from dungeon masters than their awkward gym teachers." Well, that's a lovely idea (sfw) (104)
(Facebook)
2016-05-14
Video [Video] Jazz pianist tries to accompany singer from Trump rally. The piano sadly did not survive (41)
(Huffington Post)
2016-05-14
  [Geek] "These Play-Doh Portraits Freak Us Out." Yeah, sure. **click** SWEET ERUCTATING CTHULHU ON A PVC POGO STICK (45)
(International Business Times)
2016-05-12
  [Geek] Facebook has killed the Internet. Which is why you're reading this in a newspaper, I guess (26)
(Fox News)
2016-05-12
  [Politics] Having decided the whole FBI/iPhone fustercluck made the government look stupid enough for the year, the government quits trying to fine a Wyoming guy $16 million for building a pond in his yard (187)
(Buzzfeed)
2016-05-11
  [FarkUs] 19 reasons you should move to Scotland, not Canada, if Trump gets elected. "Poutine appears to be burnt fries with sick and gravy. In Scotland, our chips are big fluffy, golden-brown and covered in salt and vinegar, not vomit" (52)
(Newser)
2016-05-11
  [Main] Master chef fires general manager daughter after customers insulted on their bill. The extremely rare My Dad Owns This Restaurant But I Got Fired Anyway trifecta is now in play (75)
(YouTube)
2016-05-10
Video [Video] Haven't you always wanted to watch a commercial narrated by John Lennon in which Ringo Starr lands a flying saucer on the roof of Capitol Records? If you haven't, you do now (28)
(Geeks Are Sexy)
2016-05-06
  [Geek] You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor. Take her away. And no hunny (34)
(Mirror.co.uk)
2016-05-01
  [Video] This is as boring as watching paint dry. EXACTLY that boring (20)
(Dangerous Minds)
2016-04-30
  [Video] Pop quiz, hotshot: You're screaming in German and attacking a table with a hatchet, but the table won't break. What do you do? Why, you steal all the microphones to give to youths in prison. Duh (11)
(NBC4i)
2016-04-29
  [Main] It's really dangerous to have guns in the home if kids live there. Especially if you're a burglar and you break into a house when an armed 11-year-old kid is there (203)
(Newser)
2016-04-29
  [Main] If Congress passes HB 2031, "Swatting" will cost you 20 years in prison. Because misusing law enforcement agencies to cause accidental deaths is something Congress wants no one but Congress to do (66)
(Kansas.com)
2016-04-29
  [Main] Wichita police looking for a thief who stole $1,000 worth of Blue Man Suits. Includes helpful surveillance photo of suspect carrying Blue Man Laundry Basket (2)
(Metro)
2016-04-28
  [Main] World's tiniest cell phone is very popular with prison inmates, who are buying buttloads of them (124)
(WWMT Grand Rapids)
2016-04-27
  [Main] If you really want a mental health evaluation, there are better ways to get one than by ramming your car repeatedly into another car on the highway and screaming "ISIS" over and over. Just saying (32)
(New York Magazine)
2016-04-27
  [Main] The headline: "How I Found Love In a Sweaty Hole in the Wall." The article: Well, let's just say it doesn't live up to the headline (25)
(Jezebel)
2016-04-27
  [Geek] After offending people by casting a white British woman as a male Tibetan character, Marvel couldn't possibly make a bad situation worse, could they? Challenge accepted (70)
(YouTube)
2016-04-26
  [Video] How many times have you found yourself with boxes of unused tampons and sanitary napkins and wondered how to get rid of them? Now you will witness the power of this fully operational industrial shredder (24)
(Fox 21 News)
2016-04-21
  [Main] If you're looking for a job, the police department in Green Mountain Falls, Colo., has some openings. How many openings? All of them (31)
(Huffington Post)
2016-04-20
  [Video] Prankster pretends to crash car into warehouse to scare friends. No word on where he got a million or so toilet paper tubes, though (4)
(CityNews Toronto)
2016-04-17
  [Main] I'll see your "zookeeper makes a mistake and gets killed by tiger story" and raise you a "dumbass drops a hat in the tiger enclosure; goes in after it without getting hurt" story. Darwin, you're just phoning it in, man (70)
(War History Online)
2016-04-17
  [Geek] Mustang for sale. It's an old one, though. No, older than that. No, even older. No; keep going (53)
(Newser)
2016-04-14
  [Main] The guy living in a box in his friend's living room in San Francisco for $400 a month now has to move out. In related news, he spent $1,300 building a wooden box (85) (+23)
(Metro)
2016-04-14
  [Main] Here's the story of a guy who says he won't use toilet paper for "cultural reasons," so he wipes with his hands. Which is bad enough without knowing he's a chef and his kitchen is covered with brown fingerprints (188) (+17)
(Some Ecards)
2016-04-13
  [Video] Brothers take their sister in to get wisdom teeth removed; convince her there's a zombie outbreak happening on the way home (18)
(Huffington Post)
2016-04-13
  [Politics] "How Fox News Destroyed the Republican Party." You know, in case you noticed the Republican Party doesn't exist anymore and are wondering what happened (178)
(Hot Air)
2016-04-13
  [Politics] Rather than resorting to scaremongering and demonizing their opponents like the NRA does, the Brady Campaign uses logic and fact-based reasoning: A video showing Alice in Wonderland shooting herself in the face (214)
(Daily Mail)
2016-04-11
  [Entertainment] "Author who made her name detailing her swinger's life and loved threesomes, foursomes and bondage tells why she is happy to lose her sex drive." Sounds more like she burned it out (33) (+7)
(Daily Mail)
2016-04-11
  [Video] Click on the left for the video of a redneck mom shooting her kids' iPhones and yelling something about Facebook; click on the right for the "parenting is simple" argument from people with no children (40)
(XKCD)
2016-04-11
  [Geek] Who cares if a swallow can carry a coconut all the way to Britain? The important question is if an eagle could deliver a pizza to an airliner in flight (41)
(Huffington Post)
2016-04-10
  [Main] Monkey ninja kicks a guy clear into next week (66) (+1)
(FB Photos)
2016-04-05
  [FarkUs] Summarize a classic novel in one or two sentences, max. LGT inspiration: "Moby Dick: A one-legged man goes fishing" (165)
(Some Guy)
2016-04-02
  [Sports] Colorado marijuana dispensary wants to buy naming rights for Mile High Stadium and rename it "Native Roots Field at Mile High." No word on why they passed on "Eight Mile High Stadium" (40)
(Fark)
2016-03-31
  [Main] Remove one letter from a movie title and describe the new plot. Example: The Seen Samurai. They're done sneaking around (1227)
(Guardian)
2016-03-17
  [Geek] FBI Director James Comey: "The logic of encryption will bring us to a place in the not too distant future where all of our conversations and all our papers and effects are entirely private." He says that like it's a bad thing (99)
(Newser)
2016-03-14
  [Main] Best Korea warns the US that if their new H-bomb works AND isn't just Photoshop AND if someone mounted it on an ICBM that didn't blow up on the launch pad AND if it got to Manhattan, it could destroy a lot of stuff (184)
(National Review)
2016-03-10
  [Politics] It's Thursday, so it's time for the latest sure-fire genius plan to destroy Trump once and all: No sex for any of his supporters (40)
(Addicting Info)
2016-03-10
  [Politics] Today's Open Letter to Donald Trump That Will End His Campaign Once and For All comes from a third grader in North Carolina (76)
(KTVU Bay Area News)
2016-03-07
  [Main] "Elementary teacher creates 'Gentleman's Club' for kids." Great idea; marketing might need a little work (78)

2016-02-29
  [Video] "The plan was to shoot five shots into the pool and recover the bullets to see how they performed" (29)
(Huffington Post)
2016-02-25
  [Main] Amazon sells book about serial killer Robert Pickton, which quickly hits the top ten. Then the publishers hastily yank the book after realizing it's a book BY serial killer Robert Pickton (58)

2016-02-28
  [Main] Theme: Reactions Facebook needs to add (35)
(Huffington Post)
2016-02-24
  [Main] Police arrest woman, charge her with commandeering bus while not being Sandra Bullock (34)
(Huffington Post)
2016-02-22
  [Video] What's that noise? KILL THE WATER THING. Hey, I'm all wet and DIE, WATER this doesn't stop moving even when I bite DIE, MONSTER FROM THE HOSE it and why is everyone giggling when KILL IT KILL IT (12)
(Today)
2016-02-22
  [Main] Furry fingernails: When you need to look fashionable but you also want to look like you haven't washed your hands for six months (100)
(Huffington Post)
2016-02-13
  [Main] Kinky couple calls police for help because they lost their handcuff key. Police arrive, present outstanding warrant for husband, and thank them for thoughtfully pre-handcuffing him (53)
(NYPost)
2016-02-13
  [Main] Armed robber tries to steal expensive shoes. Victim disarms the robber. Also unarms him (267)
(Some Guy)
2016-02-08
  [Politics] The story: Hobby Lobby must file documents describing their birth-control exemption. The headline: JUDGE RULES HOBBY LOBBY HAS TO OFFER BIRTH CONTROL AND THE GOP IS PISSED (124)
(Huffington Post)
2016-01-28
  [Main] Stoned, hallucinating coyotes may be terrorizing California drivers, buying unsafe ACME products (43)
(Time)
2016-01-23
  [Video] You know that "Lizzard Warning" highway sign everyone's snickering about? Looks like it wasn't a typo after all (10)
(Some Guy)
2016-01-23
  [Geek] Thin Mint cookies contain petroleum, coal tar, ammonia, heart-wrecking hydrogenated oils, mercury, Monsanto Roundup, top-secret allergens, and they turned me into a newt. Submitter made up one of these (114)
(TED)
2016-01-18
  [Video] The 4 a.m. mystery: A country singer shoots himself, Judi Dench eats cake, a Polish poet gets the Nobel Prize. Coincidence? (8)
(TED)
2016-01-18
  [Geek] How do you respond to a spammer offering to ship you 25KG of gold bullion? Simple: Insist on at least a metric ton and that you always be referred to by your code name, KitKat (45)
(Neatorama)
2016-01-17
  [Geek] The pen is mightier than the sword. Unless the sword is made of 4,000 Post-It notes. Then you might need an extra pen (7)
(Colorado Springs Gazette)
2016-01-13
  [Main] Designer of new restaurant at the summit of Pikes Peak hopes visitors will have a "Titanic moment." Hopefully he means the "King of the world" moment and not the "Oh shiat we're all dead" moment (54)
(Metro)
2016-01-05
  [Main] The world is going to end on Valentine's Day, three times: Nuclear holocaust (thanks Obama), a giant asteroid, and a black hole from the Large Hadron Collider (104)
(Vox)
2016-01-03
  [Entertainment] Oh, you thought Peanuts was just a fun comic strip? Don't be silly–it's about unfulfilled dreams and ruined marriages and about Snoopy being unable to communicate with anyone ever. Pleasant dreams (40)