| (YouTube) 2010-12-30 |
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[Video]Your WTF video for the today. Because you didn't want to sleep for the next week anyway | (39) |
| (Mediaite) 2010-12-30 |
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[Main]After seeing Sarah Palin hunt caribou on TV, MSNBC reporter wants Tucker Carlson to call for her execution. After that this gets a little weird | (279) |
| (The New York Times) 2010-12-28 |
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[Geek]Global warming puts more moisture in the air, which makes it snow more, which reflects more sunlight away from Earth, which makes it colder. So we really need to do something about global warming to make it stop getting so cold | (59) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-12-21 |
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[Main]"Pants Fire not Crime, Police Say," although it can serve as evidence of perjury | (31) |
| (Boston Globe) 2010-12-21 |
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[Main]Hey, kids — we're going to take away your toy guns and smash them for Christmas. Ho ho ho | (260) |
| (AFP) 2010-12-17 |
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[Main]"US Foie Gras Industry Ducking Controversy." Maybe they can help goose the economy when they (puts on sunglasses) de-liver it. YEEEEAAAAHHH | (128) |
| (LA Times) 2010-12-16 |
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[Politics]One of the most compelling arguments for health-care reform: "What if Obama Required Every American to Buy a Gun?" | (388) |
| (SFGate) 2010-12-16 |
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[Geek]"NASA Satellite Helps Predict Weather on the Sun." Tomorrow's forecast: Sunny and hot | (26) |
| (WorldNetDaily) 2010-11-05 |
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[Main]Chuck Norris is so tough he can make fun of Bruce Lee in Czechoslovakian T-Mobile commercials | (133) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-11-01 |
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[Geek]"What Can't You Do With a Sharpie?" Hack the Pentagon? Kill an elephant? Write a text message? It's a long list | (33) |
| (Wall Street Journal) 2010-11-01 |
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[Politics]So if the "Crossfire" guys stopped, stopped, stopped, stopped hurting America 5½ years ago, why didn't sanity come back? | (63) |
| (Huffington Post) 2010-10-29 |
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[Politics]Bailout oversight panel praises Obama for his rare skill in throwing trillions of dollars at problems and missing all of them | (60) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-10-29 |
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[Politics]"A Politician Is Like a Human Arcade." Well, yeah — you stick money in it and get nothing in return but a brief, unrealistic show | (27) |
| (The New York Times) 2010-10-27 |
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[Geek]Freeze a pint of ice cream to -3706 F. The energy it will take your system to bring the ice cream up to a digestible temperature is roughly 1,000 calories, neatly burning away all those carbohydrates from the fat and sugar | (68) |
| (Daily Mail) 2010-10-24 |
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[Main]"Four Killed by Celery." When will the government wake up and do something about these stalking deaths? | (56) |
| (Washington Post) 2010-10-20 |
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[Politics]Dear Obama: Please don't insult us with this "people don't think clearly when they're scared" stuff. We are not hard-wired for stupidity, and it's not irrational to fear debt and bankruptcy | (319) |
| (Bloomberg) 2010-10-18 |
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[Main]"Aliens in Skirts Get Brushoff From Men at Work." They just smiled and gave the aliens Vegemite sandwiches | (41) |
| (MSNBC) 2010-10-18 |
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[Politics]According to Harry Reid, Obama is like a Chilean miner. Well, he is indeed stuck in a hole he dug himself and can't get out without lots of help, but I suspect Reid didn't mean that | (56) |
| (Huffington Post) 2010-10-17 |
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[Main]"The 38 Most Inappropriate Halloween Costumes of All Time." Oh, c'mon — we do this every year. *click* BUDDHA'S BRASS BELLY IN A PVC PICNIC BASKET (Not safe for work) | (224) |
| (AOL News) 2010-10-16 |
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[Music]The best rendition of "Born to Run" played on glockenspiel you'll hear this week. Gosh, I never get to use the word "glockenspiel" in a sentence. Glockenspiel glockenspiel glockenspiel | (18) |
| (Atlanta Journal Constitution) 2010-10-15 |
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[Politics]Obama's problem is that he loves bipartisanship so much he's trying too hard to be nice to Republicans. Seriously. In related news, the Americans are not entering Baghdad; all is well | (94) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-10-15 |
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[Business]Dear Yahoo: An article about hedge fund management is going to be boring, even if you title it "What If Elvis Ran a Hedge Fund?" | (4) |
| (Sify) 2010-10-15 |
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[Main]First you get a box. Then you put some junk in the box. Then you find some rare old photos of Queen Elizabeth in the box. And that's how you do it | (31) |
| (Wall Street Journal) 2010-10-13 |
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[Politics]Russ Feingold (D. Wimp) says he's a strong proponent of that Second Amendment doohickey with the shooty thingies and boomsticks and all. Yeah, he knows all about that stuff | (64) |
| (Metro) 2010-10-13 |
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[Main]If you see a reckless driver, you have many options. Hitting him in the face with a bag of dog poop is certainly one of them. It's not a good option, but it's an option nonetheless | (26) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-10-13 |
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[Main]Christine O'Donnell thinks teens fantasize about sex when they masturbate. What a moron — everyone knows they think about tensor calculus | (17) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-10-13 |
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[Main]Sewer worker gets pushed over a mile through a sewer line. He's flushed with joy at his rescue, says there won't be a Number 2 | (39) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-10-13 |
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[Main]"Inside the Bizarre McRib Obsess–" wait, they're going back on sale 11/2? If you need me I'll be camping at McDonald's | (151) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-10-13 |
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[Main]Great Moments in Socialized Medicine #2,984: Greece will no longer pay for orthopedic footwear for diabetes patients, because "amputation is cheaper." Seriously | (127) |
| (NYPost) 2010-10-08 |
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[Showbiz]Stop the presses: Bruce Willis almost got hurt on an escalator. In related news — well, there is no related news. Or news, for that matter | (19) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-09-30 |
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[Politics]Small-business owner: "Your policies made my taxes go up." Obama: "Everyone keeps saying that but it's not true. Your taxes have not gone up." Way to meet and greet there, Barry | (279) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-09-30 |
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[Main]Nanny State scores another victory over Common Sense U as the Consumer Product Safety Commission says kids' science kits are too dangerous for kids — because they include deadly items such as paper clips and rulers | (69) |
| (YouTube) 2010-09-24 |
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[Video]In days of old they gave patients a laxative and high colonic before surgery. Today all they have to do is show them this video. SFW, not for underwear | (30) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-09-19 |
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[Politics]Dear Michael Moore: 2000 was 10 years ago now and "Fahrenheit 9/11" is appropriately gathering dust, so could you please STFU and find something else to do? | (186) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-09-22 |
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[Main]Huffington Post displays ideas for redesigning the dollar bill. Come on, Fark — we can do MUCH better than this | (52) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-09-18 |
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[Main]Today's headline that makes no sense no matter what order you put the words in: "Hitler's car gift to Nepal king to be used again" | (77) |
| (CNN) 2010-09-17 |
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[Main]"Would I turn on the gas if my friend the Taliban commander was in this stove?" "Eehh–you might, Rabbit; you might." "Well, would I light a match and…" "I SURRENDER. ARREST ME. ARREST ME" | (95) |
| (The New York Times) 2010-09-17 |
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[Politics]"Jimmy Carter Attacks Ted Kennedy." CORPSE FIGHT | (25) |
| (Wall Street Journal) 2010-09-17 |
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[Politics]Question: Why can't Democrats win on taxes? Answer: Because promising voters you'll throw away more of their money is the only promise they know you'll keep | (48) |
| (NYPost) 2010-09-16 |
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[Main]Jobs are being created, if we count temporary poll workers and those guys who wash your windshield and drug dealers and pimps and muggers to replace the census workers we pretended were a job resurgence last quarter | (121) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-09-20 |
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[Main]Photoshop this disconnected belt-driven epicycloidal rotor | (26) |
| (NYPost) 2010-09-15 |
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[Politics]"Kerry Flip-Flops on Tax Cuts." This is a repeat from 1984, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1992, 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 3005, 2006, 2007, 2008 and 2009. Or maybe not | (7) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-09-15 |
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[Politics]The Gaston Gazette poses a frightening question: What if — better sit down — what if (actually, you should put your head between your knees). Okay, what if — better breathe into this bag. Ready? What if everything ISN'T Bush's fault? | (8) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-09-14 |
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[Main]Imam Rouf and his wife, Daisy Khan, have solved the controversy over their Ground Zero Muslim Center by failing to raise the funds to build it. Wait a second — Daisy Khan? Really?? | (70) |
| (Wall Street Journal) 2010-09-14 |
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[Politics]"In this age of partisan polarization, Republicans and Democrats found something on which they could agree: Arlen Specter does not belong in the Senate" | (13) |
| (Toronto Star) 2010-09-14 |
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[Business]"Canadian Economy Saunters When It Could Lope." As long as it doesn't mosey when it could gallivant. A meander would be more worrisome than a beeline — and prancing is right out | (17) |
| (Google) 2010-09-17 |
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[Main]Theme: Strong Bad without his mask | (10) |
| (The New York Times) 2010-08-12 |
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[Sports]"We apologize for describing Tiger's change of heart as a 360-degree turn." Still no cure for journalists who can't do math | (16) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-08-11 |
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[Main]Dude, if a woman asks you for gas money and you say no so she asks you to buy her a cigar and you say yes but her friends beat you up and the police chase them into a trailer park and lose them, let her go man, 'cause she's gone | (42) |
| (AOL News) 2010-08-09 |
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[Main]And lo, the fourth horseman unsealed his scroll, and I saw a pair of lederhosen big enough for Rosie O'Donnell | (34) |
| (YouTube) 2010-08-09 |
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[Video]…so here's one-armed bierfrau opening a bottle with her teeth | (43) |
| (CBC) 2010-08-08 |
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[Main]"Okay, Bobby, we don't want you to grow up sexually maladjusted, so we're going to measure your penis with this machine while you look at porn and listen to a rape" | (183) |
| (The New Republic) 2010-08-06 |
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[Main]David Brooks of The New Republic knew Obama would be a good president after spending some time staring at his "perfectly creased pant leg." Thankfully he was able to restrain himself from humping it | (37) |
| (RealClearPolitics) 2010-08-06 |
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[Politics]According to this columnist, things could not be worse for Democrats right now. And since she used to be Michael Dukakis' campaign manager, I think she knows bad when she sees it | (122) |
| (CNN) 2010-08-06 |
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[Geek]Today's incoherent question that will make sense once you click the link: If we run out of pollution, will the sidewalks start eating people? | (22) |
| (Chicago Sun-Times) 2010-08-05 |
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[Sports]"For the Chicago Cubs, It's Only Going to Get Worse." What, are they moving to Detroit? | (71) |
| (Independent) 2010-08-05 |
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[Main]British doctors who quit working for the NHS are forced to sign gag orders despite legislation protecting them from whistleblowing. But don't worry; that could never happen here | (73) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-07-28 |
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[Main]Cheeseburger found in woman's gas tank. It's always in the last place you look | (43) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-07-28 |
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[Main]I'll see your car-stealing bear and raise you a bear who doesn't need ANYTHING. Except these pears and grapes, and this fishbowl, and this teddy bear. And that's ALL HE NEEDS | (55) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-07-27 |
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[Showbiz]Amanda Bynes does not unsuccessfully fail to unretire from not retiring her non-retired acting career retirement. I think | (15) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-07-26 |
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[Main]"Saturday's Temperature Fails to Break Record." In related news: Under a bush by the side of the road, Ralph Mellish found no severed arm. No head in a bag. No dismembered trunk of a man in his late 50s | (59) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-07-23 |
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[Main]Using small words, scientists patiently explain to worried journalists that even Hurricane Katrina couldn't loosen the Deepwater oil cap, given that it's under 5,000 feet of water | (67) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-07-22 |
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[Main]If you've got a ton of kiddie porn on your laptop, you might want to hide it in an encrypted folder instead of making it a screensaver. With mug shot that says it all | (145) |
| (Huffington Post) 2010-07-20 |
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[Main]"Hillary Clinton's New Hairstyle: 'Do Or Don't?" How bad can it be? *click* SWEET ERUCTATING CTHULHU ON A PIMPED-OUT POGO STICK | (351) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-07-20 |
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[Geek]Scientists build cell phone that doesn't need reception. No, not the iPhone G4; this was in Australia and they did it on purpose | (54) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-07-20 |
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[Main]If you'll direct your attention to the forward part of the cabin, my associate will demonstrate our flight safety procedures while I steal your wallets and purses | (14) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-07-19 |
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[Main]Who does Clinton want to do before he dies? I mean, what — WHAT does Clinton want to do before he dies? | (76) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-07-17 |
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[Main]A woman who used to be a man was once a John Denver impersonator, but will now be performing as a clown during Kids Day of Colorado Springs' Gay Pride celebration. Local child psychologists rub their hands together in anticipation | (51) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-07-17 |
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[Politics]Obama takes his family on vacation. Also his dog. Well, actually he sends the dog ahead of the family. In a separate private jet. This is why we can't have nice things | (130) |
| (Politico) 2010-07-16 |
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[Politics]NAACP: "Our resolution on the Tea Party, contrary to rumor, does not call the Tea Party racist." Tea Party, media: "Can we read the resolution for ourselves?" NAACP: "No. Trust us" | (94) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-07-13 |
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[Politics]Recent poll finds that Americans strongly support Arizona's immigration law, despite the media explaining to them in monosyllabic words why it is A Very Bad Thing. Seriously. In related news, there is no such thing as media bias | (575) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-07-07 |
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[Main]Ted Haggard has never been a "hateful preacher" toward gays, according to this interview with Eric, a tard. What's that? Sorry; his name is Eric Attard | (95) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-07-07 |
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[Main]How to buy shampoo: 1. Go to store. 2. When the crazy guy tries to stab you, break his wrist. 3. When he tries again, break his nose. 4. Pay for shampoo | (131) |
| (The Hill) 2010-07-06 |
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[Politics]If you want to accuse Republicans of "betting against our troops and rooting for failure in Afghanistan," don't do it just after voting to defund the war for political leverage | (60) |
| (Wall Street Journal) 2010-07-06 |
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[Politics]"Supporters of Steele's statement include Rep. Ron Paul, according to the Huffington Post. Actually, as far as we can tell, that's a comprehensive list." RON PAUL | (51) |
| (Jerusalem Post) 2010-06-04 |
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[Main]Israel politely delivers all the humanitarian supplies seized in the raid earlier this week to Gaza. Hamas politely tells Israel to DIAF and GTFO | (726) |
| (CNN) 2010-06-04 |
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[Politics]Spike Lee knows how Obama should handle the oil spill: Get drunk, beat up Michelle and burn down a pizza joint in New York | (46) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-06-02 |
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[Politics]The Republican lead is so huge that the GOP has completed a full circle of awesomeness and vanished into perfection, and is now sitting on Mt. Olympus waiting to release the Kraken. Or something like that | (142) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-06-01 |
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[Geek]"Quit Facebook Day" fails to go viral. If only there was some popular social network on which they could have promoted it | (16) |
| (Minneapolis Star Tribune) 2010-06-01 |
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[Main]Actual headline: "Summer will be cooler, unless it's not." But we could be wrong. We're not sure | (69) |
| (News.com.au) 2010-05-18 |
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[Main]1. Get drunk. 2. Fall down and stab a toilet brush handle into your buttock. 3. Spend two years listening to doctors say nothing is wrong. 4. Get surgery to remove it. 5. Profit. Just kidding: I mean, 5. Die | (118) |
| (Chicago Sun-Times) 2010-05-18 |
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[Sports]"Cup Fever on the Horizon." Try some Cruex on that | (51) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-05-16 |
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[Showbiz]Russell Crowe, when asked why he sounds Irish in "Robin Hood": "I was going for Italian. Guess I f***in' missed it." In related news, Kevin Costner seen snickering to himself | (57) |
| (National Review) 2010-05-14 |
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[Geek]If you've been looking for a cheap way to stop global warming, urine luck | (13) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-05-14 |
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[Main]"BP Says 'Top Hat' Will Be in Place Next Week in Gulf." TOP. Hat | (94) |
| (The New York Times) 2010-05-14 |
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[Geek]The war on AIDS has been very successful over the last 10 years, thanks to Obama. No word on who was responsible before Obama got in office, though | (67) |
| (ABC) 2010-04-27 |
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[Main]German guy gets his power cut off, so he tosses a meat hook on some high-tension lines to steal power. In related news, Darwin takes a well-deserved vacation | (71) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-04-26 |
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[Music]Justin Bieber concert cancelled after fans get trampled in stampede. No word on whether they were trying to stampede into or out of the concert | (61) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-04-22 |
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[Geek]Peak oil. Overpopulation. Starvation. Mass extinction. Catastrophic climate change. Five years or less to act. Today's headlines? Well, yeah — but also 1970's Earth Day predictions | (214) |
| (The New York Times) 2010-04-19 |
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[Politics]NYT writer just can't understand why well-educated, responsible, upper-middle-class folks who pay their bills and are good money managers are against HCR like all other right-thinking people. It's a puzzler, all right | (456) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-04-19 |
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[Main]Help a TFer take on multiple sclerosis. LGT who, when and how; DIT. Booyah | (101) |
| (Metro) 2010-04-14 |
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[Main]Today: Parents hire "evil clown" to stalk, harass kids at birthday parties. Next week: Traumatized precious snowflakes' parents demand their money back before lynching evil clown | (85) |
| (Telegraph) 2010-04-13 |
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[Geek]"Croatian Teenager Wakes From Coma Speaking Fluent German," asks to buy a whole bunch of vowels | (57) |
| (Politico) 2010-04-13 |
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[Main]It's almost April 15: Time for the media's annual panicgasm about Congress not finishing the federal budget in time and the government "running out of money." EVERYBODY YAWN | (49) |
| (Slate) 2010-04-09 |
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[Sports]"What Can You Learn From Staring at a Baseball Player's Butt?" I don't know; why don't you ask MY butt? | (13) |
| (Washington Times) 2010-04-08 |
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[Politics]"Obama Eyes Interns." First he repeats all of Bush's mistakes; now he's imitating Clinton | (152) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-04-06 |
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[Main]♫ It's time to put on makeup ♫ It's time to dress up right ♫ I said, it's time to dress up right ♫ DAMMIT, DRESS UP RIGHT ♫ *bang* | (48) |
| (Huffington Post) 2010-04-02 |
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[Politics]Ten tips to help Democrats. #9 — screw the rule of law. The voters don't care how things get done and they're too stupid to know the difference anyway. Seriously | (56) |
| (The Sun) 2010-03-31 |
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[Main]"Sex-Change Killer to Wed Lesbian Murderess in Jail." And that's all I got to say about that | (43) |
| (Wall Street Journal) 2010-03-29 |
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[Politics]Hey, remember all those death threats lawmakers who voted for HCR were getting? We, uh, meant to say "totally not death threats at all." Other than that the story was accurate | (390) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-03-28 |
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[Geek]No one cared about Napa Valley vintners smuggling French vine cuttings into the country. Until someone also accidentally smuggled in the European grapevine moth, which is now eating Napa Valley | (91) |
| (Metro) 2010-03-28 |
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[Main]Old and busted: Lasik. New hotness: LSD-laced pickles. Wait, what? | (51) |
| (Engadget) 2010-03-16 |
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[Geek]Microsoft drops that old, outdated "cut and paste" functionality. It's not like anyone uses it any more | (155) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-03-16 |
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[Geek]Al Gore helpfully explains that weather is not climate, except when it is. And climate change is not global warming, unless it's getting warmer. Otherwise, you should be very afraid of weather. Got all that? | (378) |
| (Wall Street Journal) 2010-03-15 |
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[Politics]Democrats don't want to just PERMIT abortions as a matter of indivual liberty. They want to ENCOURAGE abortions as a matter of social policy — that is, to save money | (392) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-03-09 |
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[Politics]The White House says Eric Massa's story about being accosted in the shower by Emmanuel Rahm is ridiculous. Oh, and by the way — Rahm wants his soap back | (69) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-03-08 |
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[Main]Last year 2.4 million fewer tourists visited the US, which cost $509 billion. In related news, tourism in the US brings in an average of $212,000 per person. Still no cure for journalists who can't do math | (179) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-03-07 |
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[Main]Actual headline: "Darling, a prostitute saved my life." Oh, did I say "actual headline"? I meant to say "famous last words" | (24) |
| (YouTube) 2010-03-07 |
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[Video]Malkovich. Malkovich Malkovich? Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. MALKOVICH Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich, Malkovich–Malkovich Malkovich? ♫ Malkovich ♫ Malkovich ♫ | (38) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-03-05 |
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[Main]Blogger who said Tillicum should have been euthanized, according to the Bible, protests that he never said the whale should be stoned to death. "Even if you wanted to stone a whale, I'm not sure how you'd go about it" | (132) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-03-04 |
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[Politics]Bush might have been able to get rid of North Korea's despotic government if he'd known he had a secret weapon: Moon Pies | (46) |
| (Metro) 2010-03-01 |
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[Main]140-year-old hot dog was a hoax. I feel so betrayed. Someone hold me | (63) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-03-01 |
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[Main]Colorado Springs has about 75 crossdressers, so the police undergo special training to learn how to be nice to them. Redheaded left-handed blind gay Turkish leather fetishists immediately complain about being ignored | (193) |
| (AFP) 2010-02-28 |
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[Main]I'm think I'm goin' to Kathmandu / That's really really what I wanna do / Goin' to their #@#%$# Cursing Festival too | (43) |
| (The Sun) 2010-02-27 |
|
[Main]TaliBOOM | (145) |
| (Metro) 2010-02-27 |
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[Main]Five-year-old boy breaks world record for air pushups, creepy photos | (12) |
| (Toronto Star) 2010-02-24 |
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[Main]"Ontario Farmers Embrace Water Buffalo." New Zealand shepherds also thank them for taking off the pressure for a while | (37) |
| (ABC) 2010-02-18 |
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[Main]Today's mangled metaphor: Contractors find it hard to jump through hoops when they're bogged down by red tape. In other words, you can't make a silk purse out of a pig in a poke because that's a horse of a different stripe | (42) |
| (Sun Sentinel) 2010-02-17 |
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[Main]♫ You say to-MAY-to ♫ I break your freakin' neck ♫ | (68) |
| (The New York Times) 2010-02-18 |
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[Geek]Thomas Friedman, professional smart person, says this whole argument over global warming would be solved with the publication of "a simple 50-page paper with unimpeachable peer-reviewed footnotes" | (100) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-02-16 |
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[Main]Today's sentence you'll wish you'd never read: "Nearby, a man reached inside his skimpy nun's outfit and shortly afterward emitted a sigh of relief" | (61) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-02-16 |
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[Sports]"Zhao Hongbo, you've just won a gold medal. What will you do next?" "I'm gonna get laid." Giggity | (29) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-02-13 |
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[Politics]Harry Reid thinks Obama should appoint federal judge who have never been judges before. Sounds like fun. Let's also have auto mechanics try brain surgery and pastry chefs build nuclear reactors | (96) |
| (RealClearPolitics) 2010-02-13 |
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[Politics]Sen. Jay Rockefeller says Obama is "beginning not to be believable." Obama responds, promises Rockefeller an extra unicorn and unlimited puppies | (57) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-02-12 |
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[Main]Mattel unveils "Computer Engineer" Barbie. Tag is because she weighs less than 300 pounds and is not covered with dried Mountain Dew and Cheetos dust | (176) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-02-11 |
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[Geek]"Underdog Theory Debunked," according to noted scientist Simon Bar Sinister |
(0) |
| (ABC) 2010-02-08 |
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[Main]"Sheen Remains Weeks After Port Arthur Oil Spill." I bet he'd go away if they offered him some hookers and coke |
(82) |
| (Wall Street Journal) 2010-02-08 |
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[Politics]"We'll never be rid of "partisan games" because politicians, being partisans, object only when the other party benefits from them. Or one's own party gets embarrassed by them." In related news, Fark needs a THIS tag |
(125) |
| (Metro) 2010-02-01 |
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[Main]We present to you Dita von Teese / Who's carved from a big block of cheese / Oh sure, she's cross-eyed / And her head's awful wide / But you've never seen udders like these |
(59) |
| (Reuters) 2010-01-31 |
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[Geek]"Scientists crack HIV puzzle for drugs." And here I thought we could just pay them with money |
(13) |
| (Fox News) 2010-01-30 |
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[Main]Atheists demand their constitutional right not to have to lick Mother Teresa's backside |
(133) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-01-30 |
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[Main]Not only is Focus on the Family ruining the Super Bowl with the Tim Tebow ad, they run fake clinics with fake preganancy tests and fake ultrasounds. They faked the Moon shots, too |
(85) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-01-29 |
|
[Politics]Pelosi on the health bill: "If the gate is closed, we will go over the fence. If the fence is too high, we will pole vault in. If that doesn't work, we will parachute in." What if the chutes won't open? |
(79) |
| (The New York Times) 2010-01-25 |
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[Politics]The New York Times calls Harry Reid's handling of the Obamacare vote "his finest hour," with the time he fell into a septic tank running a close second |
(79) |
| (Huffington Post) 2010-01-25 |
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[Geek]If, like this guy, you actually have a friend named Fuk, Nexus One won't let you talk to him. And don't even think about calling Dick Terd, Hugh Jass or Mike Litoris |
(48) |
| (NJ.com) 2010-01-19 |
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[Sports]"Perry Fewell Charged With Restoring Pride to Disgraced NY Giants." Hangin's too good fer 'im |
(21) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-01-19 |
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[Main]Today in World's Weirdest Fetishes: "Ohio County Pays Man $1,500 for Bat Bite" |
(30) |
| (ABC) 2010-01-19 |
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[Main]That hands-free cell phone will be a blessing when you need both hands to shoot out your SUV's windows after you drive into a lake |
(43) |
| (Mercury News) 2010-01-19 |
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[Geek]Having figured out what the whales are saying, Charlie's now busy asking the butterflies how they feel about climate change and urban sprawl |
(35) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-01-19 |
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[Main]Mystery visitor fails to leave roses on Edgar Allen Poe's grave for his birthday for the first time in 60 years. Nevermore? |
(109) |
| (Reuters) 2010-01-18 |
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[Main]As God is my witness, I thought Turkey could surf |
(49) |
| (Wall Street Journal) 2010-01-15 |
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[Politics]Obama is disconnected from the concerns of the people, in much the same way Saturn's moons are disconnected from Madonna's nipples |
(221) |
| (The New York Times) 2010-01-12 |
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[Main]Paul Krugman points out that Europe has far higher taxes and unemployment than the US, which proves that social democracy in Europe works. Wait, what? |
(415) |
| (The Register) 2010-01-11 |
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[Main]Not sure what an "IT Develooper" is, but it appears you need SQL expertise, .Net experience, big breasts, and a tight — wai, twhat? |
(193) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-01-11 |
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[Main]"Norway Time Hole 'Leak' Plunges Northern Hemisphere Into Chaos." Oh goody |
(258) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-01-11 |
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[Main]"Judge: Man Accused in Crossbow Death Not Competent." Well, except maybe for shooting a crossbow — sounds like he's pretty good at that |
(56) |
| (Metro) 2010-01-11 |
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[Main]The face of Jesus appears on some naan bread at India Dining in Esher, Surrey. Or it might be a gob of hair cooked into the bread. Either way, submitter isn't eating there |
(148) |
| (Yahoo) 2010-01-11 |
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[Politics]Obama has "no intention" of sending troops to Yemen. None. Nope. Not a chance. El zippo. Zilch. Nada. Nicht. Nein. Non. Nej. Negatory. Ain't gonna happen. Translation: We're about to attack Yemen |
(594) |
| (Metro) 2010-01-08 |
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[Main]She's not bad; she's just nipped, tucked, cut, sliced, lipoed, dyed and sculpted that way |
(364) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-01-06 |
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[Main]"Driving Instructor Critical After Student Crashes." What did the student expect, compliments? |
(69) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-01-06 |
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[Sports]"Women's Olympic Hockey Team Unveiled." I'm guessing it's not the Saudi team |
(28) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-01-05 |
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[Main]Obama to overseas airports: "I demand that you tighten up your security." Overseas airports: "GTFO UFIA EABOD TTJASI DIAF STFU GBTW TTIUWP how about no — does NO work for you?" |
(240) |
| (National Review) 2010-01-03 |
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[Politics]Imagine if I collected the most infamous deeds of African-Americans this decade – say, Michael Vick's dog-fighting scandal and O. J. Simpson's most recent criminal exploit – and then called it "the decade in black America" |
(266) |
| (The Sun) 2010-01-03 |
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[Main]What's this guy saying to his girlfriend? |
(166) |
| (Some Guy) 2010-01-01 |
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[Main]Attorney on board Flight 253 claims The Undibomber™ and The Sharp-Dressed Man™ had a third accomplice: The Man In Orange©, whose existence the FBI is trying to cover up. Bonus: Photo of hot chick and green beers |
(96) |
