2006 Fark Greenlights

(National Review)
2006-12-31
Amusing [Politics] 2006 was pretty disastrous for conservatives — we lost the House, the Senate, and our ability to turn on the television without seeing Nancy Pelosi (64)
(Slate)
2006-12-31
Sad [Main] Advice columnist lists the advice she gave in 2006 that provoked the most angry e-mails. The winner: Her suggestion that it's good for married couples to have kids (312)
(USA Today)
2006-12-31
Stupid [Main] USA Today columnist: "All my predictions for 2006 were wrong. So here are my predictions for 2007" (64)
(Some Guy)
2006-12-29
Amusing [Geek] "Male Circumcision Economical." I hear the guys who do it work for tips, in fact (27)
(Some Guy)
2006-12-29
Obvious [Politics] Let's play the Noam Chomsky Drinking Game. See, he wrote some comments on the Iraq Study Group's report. You have to take a shot every time he trashes the U.S. Submitter will put ER on standby for alcohol poisoning cases (98)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
2006-12-21
Obvious [Politics] Tom Daschle says Barack Obama has "unlimited potential" before going back to the Home for the Politically Washed-Up and banging his head on the wall to get to sleep again (41)
(Yahoo)
2006-12-21
Amusing [Politics] Some find naval buildup in Gulf discouraging. Submitter shrugs; handles naval buildup with soap and a washcloth. What's the big deal? (8)
(Yahoo)
2006-12-20
Amusing [Main] Stupid: Indian police are so fat they all look like Chief Wiggum. Stupider: The police department offers them extra money to lose weight. Fark: Out of 38,000 cops, 45 take the challenge (71)
(Yahoo)
2006-12-20
Unlikely [Politics] Nancy Pelosi can't wait to start "draining the swamp" of lobbyists and special-interest groups. No doubt her lobbyist friends at Exxon and AmGen will be the first to go (33)
(Yahoo)
2006-12-20
Dumbass [Politics] The whiny editorials pretending there's some way to completely separate politics and money have already started (29)
(Yahoo)
2006-12-19
Asinine [Main] Cynthia McKinney admits that some people in her home state were embarrassed by her actions, but points out that they were all "whites and uppity blacks." Glad she cleared that up (249)
(Some Guy)
2006-12-19
Obvious [Politics] Here's the real reason why so many Democrats are swooning over Barack Obama: It's the nagging belief that the country isn't ready to elect Hillary Clinton (114)
(The Ledge)
2006-12-18
Spiffy [Politics] Proof Iraq's economy is still in trouble: New job position draws thousands of applicants. Oh sure, the job is executing Saddam Hussein, but still (25)
(Boston Globe)
2006-12-18
Scary [Geek] Al Gore wants to initiate a "carbon-freeze" movement. In related news, Han Solo captured by Empire; kisses Princess Leia goodbye (14)
(Yahoo)
2006-12-15
Stupid [Main] Russian postal service loses a whole container ship of mail for seven years, but proudly announces the mail is perfectly preserved because it was hermetically sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's front porch (39)
(Yahoo)
2006-12-15
Amusing [Politics] Barack Obama is personally responsible for such crimes against humanity as global warming and Rosie O'Donnell back on television (19)
(Yahoo)
2006-12-15
Obvious [Politics] In rare moment of clarity and self-insight, Huffington Post bloggers notes that bloggers are good at "criticizing, biatching and whining" (8)
(Some Guy)
2006-12-15
Stupid [Politics] Barack Obama fondly recalls the days of Reagan and the Cold War, when there were no political disagreements. Submitter fondly recalls the '80s as well, and wishes he could have some of whatever Obama is smoking (80)
(townhall.com)
2006-12-11
Hero [Politics] Democrats' heads asplode as they try to figure out how to stonewall Bush's next nominee for UN ambassador: A Muslim guy who's currently ambassador to Iraq (50)
(Some Guy)
2006-12-08
Amusing [Main] "Weed arrested for marijuana possession." Blunt police statement says Weed's going in the joint. Hope there are no roaches in his cell (79)
(Yahoo)
2006-12-08
Scary [Politics] Egyptian newspaper editor calls ISG report "the end of America"; urges Arabs to "capture this moment when the US is at its weakest." This can only end well (42)
(Break.com)
2006-12-07
Hero [Main] Fred Phelps' crowd gets chased away from a military funeral. With wonderful video goodness (465)
(ABC)
2006-12-06
Dumbass [Politics] With his usual talent for understatement, Al Gore says the war in Iraq is the "worst strategic mistake in the history of the United States." Dred Scott, Japanese internment camps, Bay of Pigs and Vietnam unavailable for comment (105)
(Some Guy)
2006-12-05
Asinine [Main] Campus safe-sex poster: "Whether you're pitching or catching, wear a glove." Campus feminist: "That's the most degrading thing in history." Someone really needs to get laid (534)
(Yahoo)
2006-12-04
Unlikely [Main] Problem: Men are embarrassed to carry a diaper bag and change diapers. Solution: Sell an enormous, shiny black rubber diaper bag made out of old tractor tires. That'll help (123)
(Yahoo)
2006-12-04
Unlikely [Politics] We should end Christmas' status as a federal holiday. That will completely halt the marketing and buying frenzy, of course (25)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-12-04
Scary [Politics] A couple of Senate bullies decide Exxon's opinion on global warming is doubleplus ungood; "encourage" Exxon to throw money at environmentalists. Nice little oil company you have there — be a shame if something happened to it (71)
(Boston Globe)
2006-12-01
Obvious [Politics] Governor-elect encourages reporters not to give in to cynicism, because optimism built this great country: "His remarks were greeted with silence" (9)
(Boston Globe)
2006-12-01
Obvious [Politics] The Boston Globe discovers Mitt Romney never asked the owner of a landscaping company if he had ever hired illegal immigrants. The fact that Romney might be running for president has nothing to do with it (19)
(Some Guy)
2006-12-01
Obvious [Politics] Pre-election Democratic talking point: "Bush has farked up Iraq; we can do better." Post-election: "Iraq is Bush's war and Bush's problem, not ours" (115)
(Some Guy)
2006-12-01
Florida [Politics] After recounts, lawsuits and whining about voting machines fails to overturn an election, Democrats want a judge to nullify the results because they don't match a statistical model they pulled out of someone's butt (74)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-30
Amusing [Main] "American opposes pilots on China flights." Well, who's going to fly the planes then? (29)
(Some Guy)
2006-11-30
Stupid [Main] AP reports story about Shiite massacre that might not have happened. Military asks AP to prove or retract the story; AP tells military to STFU. That'll help (117)
(USA Today)
2006-11-30
Asinine [Politics] USA Today praises Pelosi for withdrawing nomination of impeached judge; not so much for nominating him in the first place (25)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-30
Unlikely [Politics] Huffington Post wants George Bush Senior to spank his son or something and stop the war. That'll work (8)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-30
Dumbass [Main] Imams respond to their brethren being kicked off a flight in a mature fashion by staging a loud "pray in" at Reagan International. This can only end well (345)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-28
Asinine [Politics] Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-Texas) is happy to force people to board a plane with scary Muslims as long as she doesn't have to herself. She can't, in fact, because she's been banned from all continental flights herself (45)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-28
Amusing [Politics] Jacques Chirac is concerned that NATO doesn't do enough to promote peace; offers to donate a boatload of white flags (14)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-28
Hero [Showbiz] Not only does Jesse Jackson wish people would stop using the n-word, he wants black rappers, comedians and hip-hop artists to go first (46)
(Reuters)
2006-11-28
Unlikely [Geek] Since the killer hurricane season didn't pan out, global warming scientists are more careful with their doom forecasting. Just kidding: Now they're predicting all life on Earth will die soon (36)
(JSOnline)
2006-11-28
Stupid [Politics] The welfare system in Wisconsin is so good at getting people jobs, welfare applications have plummeted. This of course means it needs a complete overhaul (13)
(Daily Mail)
2006-11-26
Interesting [Geek] Newest health craze: Standing around in your underpants in a freezer at -120 (22)
(National Review)
2006-11-26
Spiffy [Politics] Thanks to Clinton-era accords, 20,000 cubans a year get to visit the US on visas. In related news, National Review likes something Clinton did (12)
(National Review)
2006-11-26
Unlikely [Politics] Assassination: So cool it's the new black (23)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-24
Weird [Main] Swedish moose binges on fermented apples, gets drunk, drowns. I'm sure we can figure out some way to blame Bush (57)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-24
Dumbass [Showbiz] Rich fan gives Mariah Carey a fur coat, who gives it to PETA, who promptly loses it. There just aren't enough Dumbass tags to go around (13)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-24
Obvious [Politics] Democrats continue milking at the drug-price nipple; the fact that 75 percent of seniors are happy with Medicaire Plan D doesn't matter to them at all (44)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-24
Interesting [Politics] Right-wing propaganda vs. left-wing propaganda about whether only the only the poor join the military continues. Now the Census Bureau is getting involved (91)
(Daily Mail)
2006-11-22
Interesting [Geek] The coolest 3D ultrasound picture of an unborn elephant you'll see all day today. Planned Parenthood stomps off, muttering (25)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-21
Stupid [Politics] Hans Blix to serve on ski-ethics panel. Plans to spend first term searching for skis, blaming America when he can't find any (57)
(CNN)
2006-11-21
Dumbass [Politics] Human Rights Watch says Saddam's trial did not present enough evidence to convict him. In related news, Human Rights Watch apparently never watched Iraq when Saddam was running things (44)
(STLToday)
2006-11-20
Dumbass [Main] If you molest a 15-year-old girl and get her pregnant, don't take her to the abortion clinic with the protestors who have been there for two years photgraphing everyone who walks in (183)
(WHNT)
2006-11-20
Sad [Main] "School bus flips off Interstate." Interstate retaliates by mooning school bus (179)
(Fox News)
2006-11-17
Silly [Main] "Careful Where You Choose to Consummate Your Love." Finally, some hard-hitting journalism (65)
(Some Guy)
2006-11-17
Followup [Main] John Edwards explains the PS3 cutting-in-line incident: "Good unpaid child labor is hard to find these days" (326)
(Some Guy)
2006-11-17
Obvious [Politics] ACLU sues to have a portrait of Jesus removed from a principal's office, but doesn't mind the statues of Buddha in the classrooms. "They're very selective about what they consider a violation of the Establishment Clause" (176)
(Some Guy)
2006-11-16
Dumbass [Politics] DailyKos solicits donations to challenge an election in Florida "so we can kiss Diebold goodbye." Later admits a Diebold competitor supplied the voting machines, but wants the donations anyway (50)
(UPI)
2006-11-16
Amusing [Politics] Education: If you don't make the most of it, you'll get stuck hiding between two statues after the new Senate Majority Leader tells you to get lost (13)
(MEMRI)
2006-11-15
Dumbass [Main] Today's Unclear on the Concept Award goes to the Middle East Research Institute, which is whining that only four Arabs have ever won the Nobel Peace Prize, and they were all traitors to their race (414)
(Daily Mail)
2006-11-15
Stupid [Main] Great moments in socialized medicine: British guy has been fixing a loose crown with Superglue every two months for the last three years while he waits to see a dentist (268)
(Some Guy)
2006-11-14
Asinine [Main] Arkansas law prohibits gifts to the governor and his wife unless it's wedding gifts. So the governor sets up a wedding registry. Despite the fact that he's been married since 1974 (96)
(Some Kos)
2006-11-14
Unlikely [Politics] Iraq was an Aeolian paradise before the war and Bush attacked because he was jealous (41)
(Daily Mail)
2006-11-14
Scary [Main] Church of England decides it would be just dandy if doctors let sick or disabled babies die. What, no medical experiments first? (256)
(MSN)
2006-11-11
Silly [Main] What do Magnum P.I., Hulk Hogan and Borat all have in common? They're in this slideshow of TV's Best Moustaches (43)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-10
Obvious [Politics] A big ol' steaming heap of countries, including Jordan, Holland, and Australia, stop biatching about US troops in Iraq to beg the US not to withdraw troops from Iraq (53)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-09
Dumbass [Politics] Cindy Sheehan can't stand being out of the limelight, decides to celebrate Democratic election victory by getting herself arrested again (66)
(SciFi.com)
2006-11-09
Asinine [Showbiz] Third "Mad Max" sequel delayed. Director blames George Bush and Tony Blair. No, really (15)
(USA Today)
2006-11-08
Amusing [Politics] "Dan rather still defends tainted report." BOOP BOOP / tainted report / whoah-oah / BOOP BOOP / tainted report (43)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-11-08
Obvious [Politics] Politicians spend $1 billion to convince you that politicians are no good (9)
(Yahoo)
2006-11-04
Obvious [Main] Crack journalists at British literary magazine discover "personal ads" attract a lot of "weirdos." Nigel Romero has the story (28)
(AP)
2006-11-04
Dumbass [Politics] Old and busted: Ignore reporters' questions. New hotness: Call the reporter a "Republican whore." Fark: Deny, then say you might have used that language but you don't believe you did (9)
(MSNBC)
2006-11-02
Dumbass [Politics] John Kerry says the problem in Iraq is that Bush didn't send enough troops. 30 seconds later he says the problem is that we sent too many troops. Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Nuance (137)
(Some Guy)
2006-10-31
Obvious [Main] One of the few climatologists who refused to play Chicken Little this hurricane season says a leading researcher "would sell his soul to the Devil to get global warming funding" (209)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-31
Interesting [Politics] Organizers battle fiercely over the ACLU's greasy, rancid heart and its twisted black soul (25)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-24
Amusing [Main] Actual headline: "Stop mailing fake grenades, Canadians told." Real ones still fine? (37)
(Some Nitwit)
2006-10-24
Dumbass [Politics] Ariana Huffington wishes the Democratic Party would stop wasting time getting ready for the election and actually running the country, and get back to what's REALLY important: Pissing and moaning about Joe Lieberman (17)
(Some Huff)
2006-10-24
Interesting [Politics] "Whoever's producing CBS News doesn't seem to grasp that "the blogs" are not some undifferentiated goo to spread on stories for spice" (5)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-24
Unlikely [Politics] Conservatives are getting tired of liberal college professors yammering about how bad the US is. This, of course, means conservatives are againt civic education altogether (75)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-24
Stupid [Politics] Let's see: Cheney resigned from Halliburton, divested all stock into a trust and Halliburton's contracts have all been cancelled. But let's write another column biatching about evil, greedy Halliburton anway (153)
(Seattle Times)
2006-10-23
Weird [Main] Weird: Two guys exhume Billy the Kid. Weirder: But they won't be prosecuted for it. Fark: Because "they honestly thought they had permission" (51)
(Reuters)
2006-10-23
Asinine [Politics] Opinion writer says Republicans have "rubber stamped" Bush's agenda, including "tax cuts for the rich." Oops — not an opinion writer; it's a "reporter" for some "news" service called Reuters (74)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-10-23
Obvious [Politics] November 7: Election Day. November 8: Litigation Day (17)
(AZCentral)
2006-10-21
Hero [Politics] Supreme Court decides it's not the end of the world if you have to show ID to vote in Arizona (142)
(NewsMax)
2006-10-20
Obvious [Main] Treasury Secretary tells high schoolers "Don't spend more than you earn." Be nice if he told the government the same thing (135)
(MSNBC)
2006-10-20
Interesting [Geek] Two out of three women are better at math than expected; the other 50 percent are terrible at it (13)
(Chr. of Higher Ed.)
2006-10-20
Obvious [Politics] "Liberal 'groupthink' puts college professors at odds with most Americans." Ric Romero has the story (113)
(SFGate)
2006-10-20
Dumbass [Geek] "Scientists said they expect the ozone layer will have fully recovered sometime around 2065-2075–just in time for global warming to have a shot at destroying all life on Earth." I bet that's EXACTLY what they said, too (11)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-20
Interesting [Politics] Now that's Lieberman's ahead of Lamont in the polls by 17 percent, it's a good time to remind yourself that Lamont can't possibly lose. Sticking your fingers in your ears and yelling "LA LA LA" might help, too (71)
(NewsNet5)
2006-10-19
Dumbass [Politics] Your tax dollars at work: Ohio orders county welfare offices to get more Amish to sign up for food stamps. Even though the Amish folks in question don't want or need them (8)
(NY Sun)
2006-10-17
Weird [Geek] Actual headline: "Scientist: By year 3000, we'll be giants with brown skin living to age of 120." Aaaaallll righty, then (53)
(Some Guy)
2006-10-16
Dumbass [Main] Government at work: After 12 months, tons of money and a 300-page report, city council finally figures out who keeps saying "baa" at meetings. But it's not a council member, so they can't do anything about it (29)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-15
Obvious [Politics] Huffington Post, 2003: "Bush should wait to let UN sanctions against Iraq work." 2006: "Bush is an idiot for endorsing UN sanctions against North Korea" (51)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-15
Followup [Showbiz] Malawi charity files court bid to stop Madonna from not adopting the kid she swears she didn't adopt (3)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-12
Obvious [Main] Cat-cloning firm discovers the hard way that the kind of people so obsessed with their cats that they'd clone them usually can't afford it (42)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-12
Unlikely [Sports] Israel opens a horse track but forbids betting. I'm sure everyone will come just to watch the horses, though (6)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-10
Dumbass [Main] If you're stupid enough to think "The Departed" is an appopriate movie for your 5-year-old girl, you're probably also stupid enough to have a public tantrum when someone asks you what the hell you're thinking (670)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-10
Amusing [Main] If you're on trial for receiving stolen goods, you might not be able to help farting loudly in court. But if you burst out laughing and get a contempt charge, you have no one to blame but yourself. With photo goodness (62)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-10
Obvious [Politics] "I have been through 38 states since the last election and see no enthusiasm for another Kerry run," says political writer. Democrats cheer, prepare to nominate Kerry again (73)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-10
Dumbass [Main] If you jail a woman for murdering her son, then feel sorry for her when she gets terminal cancer and release her to go home and murder her husband, you're too stupid to be a redneck, but you'd make a great Bulgarian judge (56)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-10
Obvious [Politics] Huffington Post isn't giving us its A game–it took them more than 24 hours to blame Bush for North Korea's nuclear test (12)
(Yahoo)
2006-10-06
Unlikely [Politics] Nancy Pelosi plans to take over the House, completely get rid of lobbyists, enact all 9/11 commission recommendations and raise minimum wage. In the first week after the election. Yeah, good luck with that (160)
(YouTube)
2006-10-03
Amusing [Video] Remember Biff from "Back to the Future"? If you've ever wanted to watch a comedy video taped from inside his pants, your prayers have been answered (17)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-30
Ironic [Politics] George Soros, who blew $25 million unsuccessfully trying to get John Kerry in the White House, says the war in Iraq is "self-defeating" (29)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-29
Amusing [Politics] Instead of attacking Clinton like that guy on Fox did, we need more unbiased, objective journalism. Like this article, titled "Clinton: The Man Who Would Heal the World" (27)
(Some Guy)
2006-10-07
Photoshop [Main] Photoshop this conscientious soldier (48)
(CBS News)
2006-09-26
Dumbass [Video] Perhaps the only thing more embarrassing than kissing a shark, only to have it bite your face off, is to have a news crew catch the whole thing on tape and broadcast it (17)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-25
Interesting [Politics] Conservative blogger offers a much better defense of Clinton's record on terrorism than Clinton himself (51)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-25
Asinine [Politics] In a fresh, unusual, groundbreaking report, a journalist visits 22 red states and concludes every single person who voted for Bush is a theocratic, inbred drooling moron (202)
(YouTube)
2006-09-24
Cool [Video] Kids with AK47s, Howitzers, Uzis, a Minigun and 20 pounds of dynamite. Now THAT'S good clean American fun (38)
(USA Today)
2006-09-22
Stupid [Main] "No matter your age, if you are reading this, you are growing older." Finally, some hard-hitting investigative reporting (38)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-22
Amusing [Main] It's official: €250,000 is too much to charge for fondling a woman's bosom. In related news, submitter just loves saying "bosom." Bosom bosom bosom (152)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-22
Weird [Main] If you can't afford to join the Mile High Club, you can always try joining the "Sex in a Hatchback on Top a 13-Foot Pole" club (39)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-22
Stupid [Politics] In an article with many correctly spelled words, Ariana Huffington chews Bill Clinton for having the unmitigated gall to be polite to Laura Bush (27)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-22
Interesting [Main] In a nice, short article, this journalist points out that we all talk too much and most of us would benefit by shutting up (75)
(Maxim)
2006-09-21
Amusing [Main] Wanted: Stingy the Stingray. With mugshot goodness (68)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-21
Dumbass [Politics] Reporter: "Do you hope Al Gore will run for President in 2008?" Ted Turner: "I think all men should be barred from holding office for the next hundred years" (45)
(UPI)
2006-09-20
Dumbass [Showbiz] Sean Penn to play Einstein in upcoming movie. Ironic tag unavailable due to nervous breakdown (24)
(Reuters)
2006-09-20
Asinine [Politics] Ted Turner says invading Iraq was as stupid as the Germans invading Russia. Still doesn't explain how stupid you have to be to censor Speedy Gonzalez (76)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-19
Unlikely [Politics] Al Gore has a new book on the way — it will make everyone go green, bring peace to the Middle East, introduce harmonic balance to the universe, clear up your acne and get you laid (142)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-18
Amusing [Main] "Fall is on the way: Here's what to expect." Finally, some hard-hitting journalism (51)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-18
Amusing [Main] Today's "Incoherent Headline" award goes to: "Found Guilty Evangelical Christian Navy Chaplain Says Hell Appeal" (67)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-18
Obvious [Politics] Democratic senatorial staffer complains on a personal blog that too many incompetent people keep their jobs by playing the race card. To prove her wrong, the Democrats fire her (40)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-09-18
Obvious [Politics] "Path to 9/11" writer explains that he was unable to tell the story of Clinton's heroic struggle against terrorism because there wasn't one (167)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-15
Video [Video] Okra Cola: It makes your mouth stink for a month. I mean, "The Taste Lasts Forever" (7)
(YouTube)
2006-09-15
Amusing [Video] Funny-looking white guy dances to "Billie Jean." No, it's not Michael Jackson. It's Steve Martin (3)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-14
Unlikely [Politics] 1) School gunman kills 14 people in 1989. 2) Pass a brazillion gun laws. 3) School gunman kills 19 at same school in 2006. 4) Pretend more gun laws will work (88)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-13
Obvious [Politics] Liberal blogger gets a few really insane thoughts: Maybe Bush isn't really stupid. Maybe the people who voted for him WANT him to do his job the way he's doing it. Maybe the red-staters aren't all idiots, either (146)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-13
Dumbass [Showbiz] Dixie Chicks are past the anti-Bush comments and their careers are back on track, so they film a documentary in which Natalie Maines calls Bush a "dumb fark." In related news, Dixie Chicks scheduled to become historical footnote (78)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-13
Stupid [Showbiz] Sean Penn asks photographers to stop snapping so he can answer a question, calls Bush a "dumb Beelzebub." In other news, Sean Penn managed not to assault any photographers today (20)
(AP)
2006-09-12
Dumbass [Main] Public-health expert notes that poor folks in the US have lower life expectancies than middle- or upper-class folks. Then he says he has no idea why this is and asks Congress to explain (105)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-12
Asinine [Politics] Voters shouldn't have to, like, wait in line or anything (51)
(Live Science)
2006-09-11
Interesting [Geek] Scientist claims 17- and 18-year-old males are smarter than females of the same age. Unless the males are in the same room as the females, in which case blood rushes elsewhere and intelligence drops precipitously (27)
(The Nation)
2006-09-11
Stupid [Politics] Liberal blogger notes that Republicans have three African-American candidates this election; says the GOP has "jungle fever." Good thing he's not conservative, or that would be racist (39)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-10
Obvious [Politics] Blogger hopes Nancy Pelosi figures out that a lot of folks in the Democratic Party are experts at losing elections (6)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-10
Dumbass [Politics] Since Disney decided not to distribute "Fahrenheit 9/11," ABC shouldn't run a movie about 9/11 either. And the Moon shots were faked, too (39)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-10
Dumbass [Politics] Rob Reiner lives up to his Meathead nickname by complaining that the Republican Party is running ABC (68)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-10
Stupid [Politics] Reuters editor points out that "the means don't justify the ends" in the fight against terrorism (17)
(Miami Herald)
2006-09-08
Dumbass [Politics] Columnist: "We didn't respond to Pearl Harbor by declaring war on a nation that hadn't attacked us. Reality: Four days after Pearl Harbor, the US declared war on Germany and Italy, who had never attacked us (160)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-07
Asinine [Politics] New York Times, 6/30/2006: "Bush should try GitMo detainees." New York Times, 9/6/2006: "We're glad Bush is trying GitMo detainees, but it doesn't really count" (33)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-07
Dumbass [Politics] AP reports that Iraq has officially taken command of its military from the U.S., but is sure to point out that all violence in the country did not instantly stop. Because that's what everyone expected, of course (92)
(Houston Chronicle)
2006-09-07
Amusing [Politics] "Conspiracy theories flourish in politics, and most of them have no more basis than spring training hopes for the Chicago Cubs" (16)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-06
Stupid [Main] This just in: Stingrays are not a problem in Delaware (84)
(CBS News)
2006-09-06
Ironic [Main] "Police hope to expose serial flasher" (27)
(Time)
2006-09-06
Interesting [Main] "Loose Change"–the (in)famous 9/11 conspiracy theory movie–was originally a fictional screenplay, but its authors convinced themselves while writing it that the conspiracy theory was true (475)
(DHMO.org)
2006-09-06
Scary [Geek] Dihydrogen monoxide, a compound used in millions of food and dairy products, is responsible for millions of deaths every year–and the EPA does nothing about it (57)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-05
Scary [Main] Ah, springtime in Australia: The flowers are blooming, the breeze is warm and fresh, and the birds are smashing into the backs of people's heads at random (78)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-05
Dumbass [Main] T-shirt salesman complains that he's being forbidden to profit from the names of dead soldiers (178)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-03
Interesting [Politics] An exceptionally difficult presidential quiz (21)
(Some Guy)
2006-09-02
Interesting [Politics] You know how everyone's saying the gap between the rich and poor just keeps getting wider? Not if you compare today's economy with the economy in the '90s (41)
(Yahoo)
2006-09-01
Stupid [Politics] Today's mutilated metaphor: "It’s important to know what our President is reading, to understand the evolution of his understanding, the furniture of his mind, the context of his influence on on the planet's context" (43)
(YouTube)
2006-08-31
Dumbass [Music] Shakira sings "Back in Black." Is there such a thing as ear bleach or will I just have to destroy them with an ice pick (19)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-30
Scary [Main] If you don't like AC/DC, it's probably not necessary to stab one of their fans in the eye with a pair of scissors to express your opinion (139)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-30
Dumbass [Politics] Iraqi guy says he was required to change his T-shirt before boarding a plane. This, of course, was JUST AS BAD as living in a regime where he might be gassed or thrown into a paper shredder (73)
(Reuters)
2006-08-29
Obvious [Geek] Actual headline: "Alcohol shots cut withdrawal in alcoholic patients." In related news, opium shots reduce withdrawal in heroin addicts (14)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-29
Weird [Main] You're a journalist writing about two German adults who steal a cake from a grocery store. Naturally, you'll need to include a photo of a Chinese baby with a "Friday the 13th"-size knife (109)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-28
Dumbass [Main] California decrees that guns must stamp their serial numbers on shell casings as they fire, or they aren't safe. Dumbass tag calls for backup (760)
(Jerusalem Post)
2006-08-28
Spiffy [Politics] This week: Hamas spokesman says Palestine always blames its problems on others and is afflicted with "the bacteria of stupidity." Next week: Hamas spokesman dies under mysterious circumstances (24)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-28
Dumbass [Politics] Columnist: The revelation that Richard Armitage leaked Valerie Plame's name, not Rove or Libby, does not fit the facts as I wish they existed, so it's not true (35)
(National Review)
2006-08-28
Unlikely [Politics] Al Franken writes for National Review. In related news, a disaster of biblical proporation: Rivers and seas boil, 40 years of darkness, the dead rise, human sacrifice, DOGS AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER (79)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-08-28
Dumbass [Politics] California Senate passes a bill that will award California's electoral votes to the candidate receiving the popular vote nationwide, no matter how California actually votes. This can only end well (68)
(Metacafe)
2006-08-27
Interesting [Geek] Hiroshima: Very nicely done CGI of blast effects (40)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-25
Weird [Main] Chinese government auditor gets massages, eats and drinks on the job until he keels over dead. His colleagues are so upset they all go on vacation. No, really (29)
(News.com.au)
2006-08-23
Dumbass [Main] Hezbollah claims it sank an Israeli ship with a missile; proves it with photo of a decommissioned Australian ship being scuttled with a torpedo. In 1998 (380)
(ABC)
2006-08-23
Spiffy [Main] Increased U.S. militarty presence in Baghdad has radically decreased violence and car bombings. That silence you hear is John Murtha's explanation of how troops could have done it just as easily from Okinawa (334)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-23
Asinine [Politics] How to be a liberal blogger: 1) Request an interview with John Bolton. 2) Snivel when he ignores you. 3) Write a looooong HuffPost article — not about Bolton, but about yourself and your sniveling (28)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-23
Asinine [Politics] A whole passel o' writers point out that Bush usually does what he thinks is the right thing to do. For some reason, This Is a Bad Thing. In related news, politicians who generally do things they think are wrong are still just fine (86)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-22
Amusing [Main] "Rap music blamed for teen pregnancy." Proof that the rhythm method doesn't work (104)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-22
Dumbass [Politics] Iran pledges $500 million to fund Hezbollah, although some areas in Iran have been waiting years for reconstruction after wars and earthquakes (47)
(Local6)
2006-08-22
Scary [Main] Moviegoers think the surround sound for "Snakes on a Plane" is really amazing, but it's actually kids releasing live rattlesnakes in the theater (195)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-22
Dumbass [Main] To ensure success at bank robbery, doublecheck to see if you're actually in a bank. Bonus: "ATM machine" sighting in article (40)
(Some Dead Horse)
2006-08-22
Dumbass [Politics] In a shocking, unprecedented, daring move, Huffington Post writers are claiming Bush ain't the sharpest tool in the shed (38)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-21
Obvious [Main] It took a few days, but someone is finally blaming Bush for the media hype over the Jon Benet Ramsey case (338)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-21
Dumbass [Politics] Now that no one but the GOP is supporting him, Lieberman starts calling on Rumsfeld to resign (23)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-20
Interesting [Politics] Henry Wallace was US vice president from 1941 to 1944. He was also a Communist dupe. Ned Lamont is Henry Wallace with a Web site (43)
(Google)
2006-08-24
Photoshop [Main] Photoshop theme: If Drew Curtis and George Bush switched jobs (85)
(YouTube)
2006-08-18
Weird [Video] The rules of this game show are simple: You watch a man on TV trying to learn English. If you laugh, the game show host beats you with a large wooden paddle. Guess which country it's from? (20)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-18
Interesting [Politics] Senator Clinton and the "yes, but" factor: "Do you like Hillary Clinton?" "Yes, but…" (47)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-17
Dumbass [Geek] Boeing scraps plans for inflight Internet access, claiming there was "insufficient demand." Next week they'll see just how much people really need oxygen, seatbelts (19)
(Omaha World Herald)
2006-08-17
Dumbass [Main] Today's headline no one could make up: "Hidden bodies often a signpost of fraud" (31)
(Detroit Free Press)
2006-08-17
Obvious [Politics] Judge who ordered NSA to stop wiretaps is a liberal Democrat who campaigned for Jimmy Carter and was rewarded with her seat on the judiciary (92)
(KCCI)
2006-08-17
Obvious [Politics] Joe Biden is running for president yet again; biatches about Wal-Mart and admits it's because they're a great big company with lots of money (38)
(YouTube)
2006-08-17
Boobies [Foobies] Wardrobe malfunction on "Price Is Right." I think he said, "Come on down," not "Whip 'em out." SFW (0)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-16
Amusing [Politics] "The Clinton Doctrine can be distilled as never enter a battle in any serious way until it's so late that your contribution is meaningless." Bonus weirdness points: This little gem comes to you courtesy of Ariana Huffington (21)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-16
Dumbass [Politics] According to this guy, Ned Lamont is like RFK, Lieberman is Nixon and al Qaida is Hanoi. Extra bonus points for the gratuitous "Citizen Lieberman" shot. Hey guys: The '60s ended 40 years ago (31)
(Drudge)
2006-08-16
Dumbass [Politics] Today's "Politician Who Preaches About Global Warming, Then Leaves in a Fleet of SUVs" award goes to Barack Obama (112)
(National Review)
2006-08-15
Interesting [Politics] During the height of the violent Hatfield/McCoy feud, who would have thought of sending in a police force composed solely of members and friends of both families? Yet that’s basically what may be about to happen in Lebanon (9)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-15
Stupid [Politics] Stay with me: 1) Governments have too much money, which is why we're energy-addicted. 2) We need to give the government a lot MORE money to develop new energy sources. Got all that? Really? Can I have some of whatever you're smoking? (51)
(YouTube)
2006-08-15
Cool [Video] As you watch this medley of TV theme songs from TVLand Awards, try not to drown in the schmaltz (22)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-08-15
Obvious [Politics] Wars are rarely popular at the ballot box, but losing a war is even more unpopular (43)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-14
Weird [Main] Actual headline: "Venezuela election body promises toothpaste probe." Naturally, a headline this bizarre has to be accompanied by a photo of Hugo Chavez (39)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-14
Dumbass [Politics] "Wouldn't it be terrible for the people of the USA if Sen. Joe Lieberman helps the Republicans yet again?" Well, only if you assume everyone in the USA is a Democrat (106)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-08-14
Obvious [Politics] If elected officials were half as imaginative at solving real problems as they are at perpetuating themselves in office, we'd see real confidence in government restored (7)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-11
Amusing [Main] Apparently a billion people now live in South Dakota, because according to this, that's how many are against the state's abortion ban (354)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-08-11
Dumbass [Politics] Ned Lamont answers questions about the recent terror plot arrests: "Why do I have to say anything?" Way to pick a sharp candidate there, Connecticut (third item) (60)
(Local6)
2006-08-11
Florida [Main] Floridians angry that police aren't taking seriously complaints about a squirrel that has attacked seven people. I'm telling you, that squirrel's dynamite (123)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-11
Hero [Main] Ever suspected commercials are a lot louder than the show you actually want to watch? Italy just proved it and is putting the hammer down on networks and advertisers (169)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-11
Asinine [Politics] Welcome to America, the Land of Opportunity. Unless you live in Austin, Texas, where officials believe there are too many taco stands and will shut you down in a New York second (39)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-11
Cool [Showbiz] Genius xylophone player is three years old. With video goodness (20)
(Some Marshall)
2006-08-10
Asinine [Politics] For the past five years, every terrorist act, plot or announcement has provoked accusations that the timing sure was convenient for Bush, Cheney and Rove — 8/10 is, of course, no exception (101)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-08-08
Interesting [Politics] Liberal McCarthyism: Bigotry and hate aren't just for right-wingers anymore (125)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-08
Amusing [Main] No. 10 on the Top 10 Most Bizarre Celebrities List is our old pal Henry Earl, who was made famous "by the admin of www.messedup.net, Heywood Jablomey" (44)
(Daily Mail UK)
2006-08-08
Amusing [Geek] Discerning British women don't want to smell like anyone else. They'd rather smell like cheese (9)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-07
Dumbass [Politics] Lousiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco, who waited three days before asking Bush to send the National Guard after Katrina, opposes federalization of the National Guard because "governors just need to make quick decisions" (39)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-07
Scary [Politics] Amusing: Arkansas gov issues pardon for Keith Richards' 1975 DUI. Not so amusing: He's also issued more pardons and commutations than any other governor in Arkansas history, some for mighty dangerous dudes (8)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-07
Obvious [Main] Teens who listen to raunchy music on their iPods start having sex earlier. EVERYBODY PANIC (262)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-05
Hero [Sports] She's 82. She's had 14 kids and triple-bypass surgery. She's a gold medalist in skeet shooting. She's not like other grannies (17)
(Space.com)
2006-08-04
Amusing [Geek] Actual headline: "Moon's Strange Bulge Finally Explained." Is it high tide, or are you just glad to see me? (4)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-03
Scary [Geek] Scientists come up with a brilliant way to "cure" autism: Simply get rid of autistic kids before they're born (113)
(Some Guy)
2006-08-02
Amusing [Politics] Political Correctness 201: When Mitt Romney or Tony Snow say "tar baby," they're racist. When John Kerry, the Boston Globe or the Boston Herald say "tar baby," it's just an expression (86)
(Some Racist Huff)
2006-08-02
Asinine [Politics] Political Correctness 101: When a GOP governor calls the Big Dig project a "tar baby," he's a racist. When a Dem journalist depicts Joe Lieberman in blackface, she's exercising her First Amendment rights (66)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-02
Asinine [Main] Ariana Huffington's on her third editorial about Gibson — and counting. Just remember: Those ugly rumors about the liberal media piling on Gibson are totally unwarranted (272)
(USA Today)
2006-08-02
Interesting [Politics] USA Today's crack journalists discover that "corruption" is a problem in "politics." No suprise: They insist the media is our only hope. Big surprise: The U.S. is not on the list of "Most Corrupted Governments" (22)
(National Review)
2006-08-02
Obvious [Main] Tel Aviv could be in flames and I’m not sure it would push Gibson’s sordid little tale off the front pages (67)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-01
Dumbass [Politics] Warren Christopher: "Why can't Bush just sit on his arse and let everyone kill each other in Lebanon, the way we did in Bosnia and Rwanda?" (45)
(Yahoo)
2006-08-01
Scary [Geek] McAfee claims it was a bit confused; thought security software was supposed to give away passwords, not protect them (28)
(DFW.com)
2006-07-31
Obvious [Politics] Cause and Effect Dept.: Letter to the editor complains about apathy over global warming; also insists we should all use more cannabis (third letter down) (15)
(News.com.au)
2006-07-31
Obvious [Politics] Australian newspaper publishes photos proving Hezbollah is hiding among civilians and wearing civilian clothing, both of which are war crimes under the Geneva Convention. But remember: This is all Israel's fault (121)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-31
Obvious [Politics] Joe Lieberman and Cynthia McKinney both face tough primary challenges: Lieberman for having his head screwed on straight, and McKinney for having hers shoved up her backside (43)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-30
Obvious [Showbiz] Summer is sure to bring with it at least two things: baseball, and movies aimed at titillating teenagers and relieving them of all that cash stuffed in their jeans pockets (10)
(Yahoo)
2006-07-30
Cool [Main] 1. Thieves use brick to break window and rob charity bookstore. 2. Charity auctions off the brick used to break the window. 3. Profit (35)
(Yahoo)
2006-07-30
Obvious [Main] Columnist is aghast that some world leaders held a meeting and didn't invite him (31)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-30
Interesting [Politics] Welfare reform is working. Here's why (25)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-29
Obvious [Showbiz] Movie reviewer surprised to discover that "Miami Vice" depicts drug use (13)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-29
Obvious [Main] "National data indicates that free museums make less money than those charging admission." Sometimes it takes an intellectual to explain these things (55)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-29
Silly [Main] Chicago Tribune's crack investigative reporters discover that the gas you buy for your car is made from oil that came out of the ground in the Middle East (73)
(ABC)
2006-07-27
Stupid [Main] The story: Americans are concerned that world leaders don't respect our president. The headline: "Poll: World Doesn't Respect Bush" (246)
(AP)
2006-07-27
Dumbass [Politics] Today Howard Dean: 1. Insulted the PM of Iraq. 2. Compared Katherine Harris to Stalin. 3. Said politics should really be less divisive (72)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-26
Obvious [Main] Actual headline: "Fatal Tour Boat Unsafe." In other news, Ric Romero challenges the O RLY? owl to a cage match (51)
(Yahoo)
2006-07-26
PSA [Main] If you're the press agent for a spell-checking software package, it helps to use your own product on your press releases (33)
(Yahoo)
2006-07-26
Obvious [Main] Some Korean guy has, so far, excreted 3.5 pounds of cocaine since his arrest. He is reportedly quite popular in PMITA prison, inmates refer to him as "the coolest vending machine ever" (61)
(Yahoo)
2006-07-26
Obvious [Politics] People actually living in Lebanon are quite amused at the New York Times' portrayals of the area, wonder if there's another Lebanon on whatever planet NYT lives on (23)
(Yahoo)
2006-07-26
Asinine [Politics] 2003: "President Bush is an idiot for failing to talk about root causes of Mideast violence." 2006: "President Bush is an idiot for talking about root causes of Mideast violence" (46)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-25
Interesting [Main] NBC may have accidentally videotaped a Hezbollah operation counterfeiting US currency (135)
(National Review)
2006-07-25
Strange [Politics] Confused about whether the economy is doing great or badly? Just remember: We are in a Schumpeterian expansion with legs (10)
(National Review)
2006-07-25
Scary [Politics] The UN wants to station troops in Lebanon. MORE troops, actually–they've had troops there since 1978, who have done nothing but help Hezbollah attack Israel (20)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-24
Amusing [Politics] Actual headline: "So Democrats disagree, so what?" Extra bonus irony goodness: This headline is not on Fox, NRO, Weekly Standard or NewsMax (28)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-24
Obvious [Politics] Gary Hart: "Bush's closed shop has created a diplomatic failure in the 'Secret Society.'" Translation: I've been starving since I pissed away my chance at the White House. Can I have a job? (16)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-22
Obvious [Main] Professors pushing the "grammar is dead" movement, claiming grammar is "chauvanistic," discover to their horror that they have to read papers written by students who don't know any grammar (309)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-21
Weird [Main] Hillary accuses ad execs of wanting to put computer chips in kids' brains (182)
(Some Chappaquiddick)
2006-07-21
Dumbass [Politics] Senator calls stem-cell veto a "cruel restriction on livesaving." If you know which Senator it is, you know why it's posted here. Mary Jo Kopechne unavailable for comment (121)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-21
Amusing [Politics] Actual headline: "US Still Searching for Middle East Peace Plan." Maybe it's behind the couch (13)
(National Review)
2006-07-21
Spiffy [Politics] New survey shows the vast majority of Iraqis feel safer than ever in their own neighborhoods, that they support their new government and increasingly reject sectarian violence. Somebody needs to remind them what a failure this war has been (125)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-21
Scary [Main] ICU staff pesters family to let their dad "die with dignity." If you're wondering whether he made a full recovery before they could talk the family into pulling the plug, your Fark Fu is strong (125)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-20
Obvious [Main] AAA: "Predicted record high gas prices may or may not come true." Unless they don't. But we're not sure (73)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-20
Unlikely [Politics] Blogger claims John and Teresa Heinz-Kerry are financing Hezbollah thru a series of conections every bit as plausible as the NYT's chart connecting Bush with the Swift Boaters (45)
(Breitbart.com)
2006-07-20
Unlikely [Main] Clinton's campaign records show staff travel to prepare for Iowa caucuses; spokesman claims it's a clerical error and Clinton isn't running for president (242)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-20
Amusing [Politics] Barack Obama tells NAACP not to be "bamboozled" by Bush; loses ground a few minutes later by proclaiming "Kid Rock fell on us" (45)
(Reuters)
2006-07-19
Unlikely [Main] Today's "What liberal media?" example: Reuters quotes the White House as saying Bush vetoed legislation desired by scientists and supported by a majority of Americans. No doubt that's just how the White House said it (629)
(YouTube)
2006-07-19
Amusing [Video] Meet Chad Vader: Grocery store day-shift manager (5)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-17
Obvious [Politics] Hillary: "Joe Lieberman's been a good friend of mine for 30 years, and if he goes down in flames for supporting the war in Iraq, I will reluctantly do nothing to help" (72)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-17
Weird [Showbiz] CBS will be advertising its fall lineup by etching its logo on 35 million eggs. For extra advertising goodness, leave an egg under the couch for a month to smell the fall lineup, too (8)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-16
Ironic [Showbiz] Retailers who paid big bucks for product placement in "The Devil Wears Prada" less than overjoyed when sales immediately plummet (16)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-16
Dumbass [Main] Some dude no one ever heard of says the US is going bankrupt, proves it by reading definition of "bankrupt" from the dictionary to reporters. No, really (183)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-15
Cool [Politics] We can accuse the Bush administration of spinning budget projections all we want, but the fact is that revenue has gone up 13% in 2006, exceeded in the last 25 years only by the 15% rise in 2005. The Laffer Curve laughs (142)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-15
Obvious [Politics] There are really only two slogans in American politics: "You Never Had it So Good," and "Time for a Change" (19)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-15
Interesting [Politics] Credible evidence that Iran is orchestrating the war between Israel and Lebanon to draw attention away from its nuclear program (35)
(Breitbart.com)
2006-07-14
Weird [Main] Oil prices dip slightly, maybe because one of the stock bidders apparently has a giant lollipop stuck to his head (see photo) (193)
(Yahoo)
2006-07-14
Unlikely [Main] German postman caught with 90 boxes of undelivered mail at his house, but insists he and his friends plan to deliver it all any day now (51)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-14
Followup [Politics] Hillary Clinton, who was going to run for president in '08, then wasn't, then was, then wasn't sure, then wasn't talking about it, then was, then wasn't, is probably going to run for president in '08 (63)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-13
Amusing [Politics] Lucky for us our congressmen and senators are smart as Einstein, good as Mother Teresa, knowledgeable as Henry Kissinger times Robert Kaplan, and wise as Solomon. Oh, wait (17)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-12
Unlikely [Politics] Religious activist really likes Hillary Clinton, because she always quotes that Bible passage correctly — the one where Jesus commands everyone to keep enlarging federal entitlements (39)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
2006-07-12
Unlikely [Politics] Dem politician caught hiring investigator to dig up dirt on another Dem politician swears he just hired the investigator to get to know the other politician better (2)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-12
Stupid [Politics] Forget the plight of undocumented aliens, the threat of America's porous borders or the economic challenges of immigration law. The real tragedy is the impact of all that trash on Arizona's deserts (33)
(Breitbart.com)
2006-07-11
Obvious [Politics] Universal Press Syndicate prez explains how Ann Coulter has not committed plagiarism in a well-reasoned, carefully researched response that won't make the slightest bit of difference (53)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-11
Dumbass [Main] Presbyterian assembly considers resolution calling suicide bombing a crime against humanity, but can't get it passed because they're afraid someone might get offended (112)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-09
Interesting [Main] Beef wholesalers hope, now that Japan accepts American beef again, that the price of tongue will skyrocket again. In related news, PETA members strip naked somewhere (24)
(Detroit News)
2006-07-07
Dumbass [Main] Godwin watchers rejoice as the first attack ad of the season featuring a photo of Hitler appears in Michigan (197)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-07
Asinine [Politics] Slightly unclear on his talking points, instead of comparing Bush to Hitler, Dem aide compares Schwarzenegger to Kim Jong-Il (16)
(MSNBC)
2006-07-06
Dumbass [Main] Today's breathless hyperbole comes to you courtesy of Chris Matthews, who says American cars weigh as much as the Chrysler Building, while European cars get a million miles to the gallon (197)
(MSNBC)
2006-07-06
Dumbass [Politics] From the "Don't Let the Door Hit Your Ass on the Way Out" Department: Cindy Sheehan announces she'd rather live under Hugo Chavez than George Bush (96)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-06
Dumbass [Politics] Ariana Huffington explains that electric cars are zero-emission. Because we all know that the electricity in electric cars comes from pollution-free Energy Fairies (39)
(Some Guy)
2006-07-06
Obvious [Politics] Syrian government official is frustrated that Arabs want to talk about how incompetent most Middle Eastern governments are, because that makes it really hard to keep blaming everything on Israel (12)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-28
Amusing [Politics] Which phrase would Hillary Clinton's staffer be most likely to use while negotiating an important issue with a colleague? 1. "I'll get back to you." 2. "I'm afraid I disagree." 3. "You suck" (24)
(Turks.us)
2006-06-28
Amusing [Main] "Three suspects have been taken into custody by French police in connection with last Saturday's Molotov *censored*tail attack on the Turkish embassy in Paris" (127)
(CBS News)
2006-06-28
Weird [Main] Vladimir Putin, apparently channelling Michael Jackson, walks up to four-year-old boy in a crowd, yanks up the kid's shirt and kisses him on the stomach. With bizarre video goodness (93)
(Some Hippie)
2006-06-28
Dumbass [Politics] Howard Dean says we're "about to enter the '60s again," but insists he's not talking about Vietnam. Sounds like he's got the hallucinogenic part down already, though (26)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-28
Dumbass [Main] If you're a hotel security guard comparing military service and/or penis size with a guest, shooting the guest in the face doesn't mean you won the argument (68)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-27
Dumbass [Main] Axl Rose arrested for biting security guard on the leg. May face additional charges for still using stupid, pretentious misspelled celebrity name (78)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-26
Asinine [Showbiz] Kate Beckinsale wants to sleep. Stop the presses (13)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-26
Dumbass [Politics] Russ Feingold on fighting terrorism in Iraq: We need to leave so terrorist activity will stop. In Afghanistan: We need to stay and fight the terrorists until we defeat them (164)
(Drudge)
2006-06-24
Unlikely [Main] Saddam thinks the United States plans to reinstate him as president of Iraq (353)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-24
Dumbass [Main] Today's drunk dumbass engaging police in an extremely low-speed chase on a 5-horsepower mini motorcycle comes to you courtesy of Lake Crystal, Minnesota (38)
(Yahoo)
2006-06-24
Weird [Main] British army goat misbehaves in front of the Queen and gets demoted. In other news, there are goats in the British army (49)
(Some White House)
2006-06-24
Interesting [Politics] Bush continues chipping away at civil rights by issuing executive order protecting personal property rights. Oh, wait (31)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-24
Ironic [Politics] John Kerry, this week: "We need to leave Iraq this year." John Kerry, 2003: "President Bush wants to cut and run from Iraq without finishing the job." (77)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-23
Interesting [Politics] Raising the minimum wage doesn't help the poor, but it does make it harder for teens to find jobs (188)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-23
Interesting [Main] At this moment there exactly as many lawyers in America as there are people in prison. Coincidence? We report; you decide (90)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-23
Obvious [Main] People are so disgusted with the way the government does things that some politicians are running on their lack of accomplishment (93)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-22
Dumbass [Politics] John Kerry declares his Senate proposal to cut and run from Iraq a "victory"–because it lost by fewer votes than he expected (76)
(Reuters)
2006-06-22
Amusing [Politics] Democrats divided on Iraq: Some want to cut, some want to run and some want to cut AND run (64)
(Google)
2006-06-22
Amusing [Geek] Microsoft redesigns iPod packaging (19)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-22
Interesting [Politics] Democrats are figuring out that school choice actually works (26)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-22
Obvious [Politics] Howard Dean is actually the most in touch with his base of all D.C. Democrats because he speaks to them the secret language of Madman Boogabooga (8)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-22
Interesting [Politics] Washington Democrats think their core voters are barking mad (7)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-22
Silly [Sports] Thai monks are too tired from watching the World Cup to take morning alms (3)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-20
Unlikely [Politics] Truthout.org keeps insisting Rove's going to get indicted. The discrepancy is easy to explain: Time-traveling aliens (32)
(ABC)
2006-06-20
Dumbass [Main] ABC asks viewers to send in anecdotal evidence of global warming. "See? Global warming is real because Edna Froodman of Toadsuck, Arkansas had her prize hog lose at the county fair this year" (360)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-20
Unlikely [Politics] Ann Coulter gets too much press time because everyone's scared of her (58)
(AP)
2006-06-19
Dumbass [Main] A handful of U.S. troops have deserted and are quietly hiding in Canada. So of course, Cindy Sheehan helpfully holds a huge press conference and names a bunch of them (865)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-19
Dumbass [Main] Today's "free speech for me but not thee" story comes to you via a Las Vegas high school commencement speech and a microphone that stops working when you say things the censor doesn't like (628)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-06-17
Interesting [Geek] Why Craigslist is happy to be a trailing-edge technology company that underperforms by more than 90 percent (22)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-16
Obvious [Main] Today's scare-mongering news ratings grab: (whispering) If a bunch of unlikely things all happen at once (full volume) PANCAKE MIX CAN KILL YOU (95)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-16
Weird [Main] Farmers use "hail cannons" to stop storms from damaging crops. Neighbors complain the cannons are so good they're causing a drought (34)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-15
Unlikely [Main] Muslim cleric calls on Bush and Australian PM John Howard to convert to Islam. Good luck with that (195)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-14
Weird [Main] We've secretly replaced the vanity top in this bathroom renovation kit with three pounds of pot and some cocaine. Let's see if our plumber notices (57)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-14
Scary [Politics] Three Brunei nationals tossed in jail for lampooning their president. In other news, Stephen Colbert seen breaking into a cold sweat (9)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-12
Obvious [Politics] The Voting Rights Act is really The Incumbent Protection Act (30)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-09
Obvious [Main] Actual headline: "Osama Bin Laden Keeping a Low Profile." As opposed to last week, when he was on Leno and Letterman (98)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-09
Unlikely [Politics] Nancy Pelosi: Now that Zarqawi is dead we should talk about Iraq. Because God knows we aren't arguing enough about Iraq (35)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-07
Unlikely [Politics] Mary Mapes still sniveling about being fired over RatherGate, claims faxing altered the document. Yeah, we've all faxed something and had it change fonts and add superscript, haven't we? (24)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-07
Obvious [Politics] SF Chronicle said Pete McCloskey is called anti-Semitic for supporting Palestine, a partial truth as misleading as saying David Duke is called racist just because he opposes affirmative action (20)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-05
Obvious [Politics] Click here for a record of John Kerry's off-the-record meeting with some liberal bloggers, who are apparently unclear on the term "off the record" (40)
(Some Guy)
2006-06-05
Obvious [Politics] In the 20 years since the Chernobyl tragedy, the world's worst nuclear accident, there have been nearly [FILL IN ALARMIST AND ARMAGEDDONIST FACTOID HERE] (29)
(Yahoo)
2006-05-30
Unlikely [Sports] Since Bonds is taking steroids, we should multiply his stats by 0.9; since Babe Ruth was a fat alcoholic, we should multiply his stats by 1.1 (28)
(WTOL)
2006-05-30
Amusing [Main] Man makes pointless protest against immigration using a rendition of the Statue of Liberty wearing a thong (safe for work, pics) (112)
(Yahoo)
2006-05-29
Stupid [Main] Having solved all other problems, British government is fining circus clowns for throwing water at each other (14)
(Some Guy)
2006-05-27
Dumbass [Politics] Canadian PM calls press conference to declare that he has nothing to say to the media (26)
(Some Guy)
2006-05-26
Dumbass [Politics] British politician tells media it would be just dandy if a suicide bomber killed Tony Blair (31)
(Some Huffington)
2006-05-25
Dumbass [Politics] Liberal senator thinks the students who protested John McCain are just as brave as the students who faced down tanks in Tiananmen Square (72)
(Some Guy)
2006-05-25
Silly [Showbiz] Apparently Madonna has a direct line to God and His opinions on concert promotion. Pope stomps off, muttering angrily (13)
(Some Guy)
2006-05-23
Obvious [Politics] Democrats on Hillary: "One: ‘She is the presumptive front-runner.’ Two: ‘I don’t much like her, but I don’t want to cross her.’ Three: ‘If she’s our nominee, we’re going to get killed' (89)
(Some Guy)
2006-05-23
Unlikely [Showbiz] CBS has hidden $2 million in gold somewhere in the U.S. To find it, all you have to do is watch every show and every commercial all season long for clues (23)
(Some Guy)
2006-05-23
Interesting [Geek] Hey, Al Gore, here are a few inconvenient truths for you: Since 1970, U.S. population has increased 42 percent, the number of vehicles has more than doubled, miles driven is up 178 percent — yet our air quality has also steadily improved (92)
(The Smoking Gun)
2006-05-20
Dumbass [Main] If you've already been in trouble for threatening President Bush's life, you should probably find a better hobby than making fake Secret Service IDs. TSG is there (42)
(Some Guy)
2006-05-10
Weird [Main] Actual headline: "Chief Rabbi: Buffalo Meat Kosher." Chief Rabbi bring big good news to all Jewish Indians (114)
(AP)
2006-05-08
Scary [Geek] Up to $5 billion of Google's ad revenue in the past few years might be from click fraud (21)
(Some Guy)
2006-05-04
Obvious [Geek] Something might be happening in the Pacific Ocean. We don't know what it is or what it means or what caused it or what might happen — but just to be safe let's panic and blame it on global warming (12)
(Some Guy)
2006-05-03
Ironic [Politics] Democrats hate popular Democratic author because of her "lifestyle choice": She's a stay-at-home mom and housewife (77)
(Some Guy)
2006-05-02
Scary [Main] Three Arab teens nabbed in Israel with 150,000 detonators. Tell police the detonators are for "personal use"; may also try claiming they were just holding them for a friend (107)
(Some Guy)
2006-05-02
Asinine [Politics] Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, 2006: "Affirmative action today, tomorrow and forever." George Wallace, 1963: "Segregation now, tomorrow and forever." And the politics of race goes on (18)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-28
Interesting [Politics] Republicans and the country as a whole have done better at recovering from Vietnam and Watergate than either Democrats or the press (68)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-26
Scary [Geek] Scientists want to inject "quantum dots" with genetically modified firefly protein into your body to light things up and look around. "Light bulbs aren't cool enough," they explain. What could possibly go wrong? (19)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-26
Dumbass [Main] Secret Service alertly thwarts a threat to Bill Clinton's life — and golf game — by shutting down a five-year-old girl's birthday party (144)
(The Sun)
2006-04-24
Amusing [Politics] Bush makes a frowny face because the Rolling Stones stole his hotel room. The Sun is there (40)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-24
Ironic [Main] Two anonymous sources tell Associated Press that the government is taking steps to stop all leaks to the press (84)
(Some Dead Guy)
2006-04-23
Weird [Main] Astonished Greek Orthodox bishop excited about colleague who's been dead for 15 years but refused to decompose. "Even his soft parts are intact" (86)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-19
Amusing [Main] Actual headline: "Butts' competitive juices ignite Dogs" (42)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-19
Obvious [Main] Doctors are shocked, SHOCKED, to find that their website with pictures of people's genitalia is being used for porn (96)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-19
Amusing [Politics] Howard Dean makes crack about Republicans being molesters; fails to realize DHS employee in jail is a registered Democrat (93)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-18
Dumbass [Main] College student threatens to assassinate Bush, Rummy and "all Republicans" online. His lawyer hopes he can get out of jail in time for finals (216)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-12
Obvious [Main] Sports gear from Nike and other companies is cool and stylish, but it's not bulletproof (37)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-12
Obvious [Politics] Now that Daily Kos and MoveOn.org have officially endorsed Francine Busby for Congress, she's losing. As usual, the race was a Democrat's to lose; as usual, the Dems figured out a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory (74)
(Yahoo)
2006-04-12
Obvious [Main] Gasoline prices rise due to… *throws chicken entrails*… political turmoil in Nigeria (96)
(Reuters)
2006-04-10
Dumbass [Main] Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and two small kids are holing up in an African camp where wild lions will keep the media away while Angelina has her baby. What could possibly go wrong? (61)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-07
Weird [Geek] If you're still breastfeeding when you're 14 years old, relax — it won't give you asthma (29)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-07
Obvious [Politics] White House: "The President authorized declassification of documents." New York Times, Washington Post, etc.: "BUSH LEAKED CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS" (183)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-05
Obvious [Geek] Texas professor who wishes death on 90 percent of the Earth's population would rather be part of the 10 percent left over, so he'd really rather not get any more death threats (50)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-04
Sick [Politics] Next month some British doctors will debate whether it's unethical to let premature babies die to save a little bit of money. Welcome to socialized medicine (63)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-04
Dumbass [Politics] Cynthia McKinney accidentally gave a friend a plane ride at taxpayer expense. Or else it's the fault of racist airline tickets. She hasn't decided yet (44)
(Reuters)
2006-04-03
Unlikely [Showbiz] Director of the first "Basic Instinct" says it's bombing because George Bush has "banned anything that is erotic in the United States" (50)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-02
Cool [Main] Restaurant lets you smash dishes if you're mad. If you've got lots of money, you can smash a TV (34)
(Some Guy)
2006-04-01
Cool [Geek] Custom-made, laser-cut eyeglasses fitted on a housefly. Here comes the science (15)
(Some Guy)
2006-03-31
Florida [Main] Woman protesting strip clubs in her neighborhood flashes an awful lot of cleavage while talking to reporters about it. With photo goodness (97)
(Some Guy)
2006-03-29
Ironic [Main] George Lucas is worried about American cultural imperialism (148)
(Some Guy)
2006-03-29
Interesting [Geek] Lawyers and blogging go together like witches and stoning (2)
(Netscape)
2006-03-28
Dumbass [Main] PETA continues its quest to win friends and influence people with its new ad campaign: "Avian Flu: It's Your Fault" (200)
(Yahoo)
2006-03-27
Amusing [Main] Weird: A camera was discovered filming the inside of the German chancellor's apartment. Weirder: It's a museum security camera. Fark: It did it for years before anyone noticed (37)
(Yahoo)
2006-03-27
Asinine [Main] Airlines charging extra for meals, pillows and blankets; don't have pay toilets or lean-back-your-seat fees. Yet (228)
(Yahoo)
2006-03-27
PSA [Main] If your wife refuses to serve you meat for dinner, dousing yourself with gas and setting yourself on fire in the front yard probably won't help (65)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-03-26
Interesting [Politics] The government should give every American $10,000–and nothing more (53)
(Drudge)
2006-03-23
Asinine [Politics] Bush makes ABC exec "want to puke," according to his email. But don't worry, he's a "great producer who is always fair" (70)
(Some Guy)
2006-03-22
Obvious [Politics] They say they support the troops but that makes zero sense. Support the troops doing what, exactly? Fighting in a war that they oppose? Taking orders from a man they despise? (59)
(Some Guy)
2006-03-22
Silly [Main] Mike Tython apologitheth for patht life of violenth (64)
(AZCentral)
2006-03-20
Silly [Main] Slow news day in Arizona as a peace protest consisting of two people makes the paper (61)
(Some Guy)
2006-03-20
Amusing [Politics] From the "Endorsements You Don't Want" Department: David Duke praises Harvard dean's statements on Israel and Palestine (16)
(Some Guy)
2006-03-20
Interesting [Politics] Wall Street Journal thinks Bush should fire Rice, Rove and Cheney. Tomorrow, Moveon.org will announce that Clinton is a greasy liar; day after tomorrow the world will come to an end (44)
(Some Guy)
2006-03-15
Interesting [Main] Find out if you could have passed the 8th grade back in 1895 (193)
(Some Guy)
2006-03-09
Obvious [Politics] By the time 2004 rolled around, MoveOn's presence in any political controversy was a certain bellwether of failure: Whatever side MoveOn is on, the other side wins (46)
(Some Guy)
2006-03-08
Amusing [Politics] How to brag about losing an election: "This is a long-term movement, building from nothing. And we are sending notice to Democrats that they can't be Bush's biatch and expect a pass" (11)
(Drudge)
2006-03-07
Dumbass [Main] Barbra Streisand explains that Bush is dummbe and has no crediblity because he invaded Irag thanks to ouside preceedings that gave us a currupt adminstration that's becoming a dictatoriship (500)
(Some Idiot)
2006-03-04
Asinine [Politics] UN Security Council head says members have better things to do than attend security briefings or show up to meetings on time (58)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-03-03
Obvious [Showbiz] Where is the next generation of tough guys? They're out there. They just happen to go by the names Michelle Yeoh and Angelina Jolie (6)
(Slate)
2006-03-02
Asinine [Politics] Today "what liberal media?" headline: Iraq talks are "in ruins" — as long as "in ruins" means "progressing smoothly," that is (49)
(Some Guy)
2006-02-24
Obvious [Main] What little boys were made of before lawsuits (216)
(Some Guy)
2006-02-16
Obvious [Main] Maine's new health care plan has saved so much money, the state has to raise everyone's taxes to help pay for it (95)
(The Smoking Gun)
2006-02-15
Obvious [Main] Hurricane victims spent their money on porn, tattoos and massages. The Smoking Gun is there (148)
(Drudge)
2006-02-14
Dumbass [Main] Democrats' 2008 campaign strategy: "Republicans are fat." May also try "Republicans suck" and "God hates Republicans" (352)
(Some Guy)
2006-02-13
Stupid [Main] Sarah and Jim Brady waste a whole press release explaining that Dick Cheney is an idiot, so guns are bad (463)
(Wall Street Journal)
2006-02-10
Interesting [Sports] Why the Olympics should be canceled forever (49)
(Drudge)
2006-02-09
Dumbass [Main] Howard Dean checks DayTimer, realizes he's overdue for a provocative and incredibly stupid accusation against the Republican Party (426)
(Some Blogger)
2006-02-06
Stupid [Main] Boston Globe, 1999: "Christians need to stop whining about taxpayer dollars paying to cover the Virgin Mary with elephant crap–it's free speech." 2006: "We need to be sensitive to Muslims offended by political cartoons" (432)
(Some Diver)
2006-01-29
Photoshop [Main] Photoshop this high diver (120)